A Look Into My World

Space

2010-12-31T12:19:00.000-05:00

We have a small house. And by small, I mean teeny-tiny. When Denny and I bought if 5 years ago, we bought it for the two of us. Not even once thinking about the future and what the coming days might hold for us. No realizing that there might some day be more than just the two of us sharing that space. But the years have gone by faster than we ever could have imagined and two has turned into three, and come May, three will become four.

The only problem is, we don't have enough space in our house for all of our things and another person. And all of his things. The room that will eventually become the baby's nursery is now an office. And a storage room. And the closet holds all of my clothes because the master closet in only large enough to accommodate Denny's things. There is just so much stuff that we can't bear to part with, yet we have no where to put it.

Like my wedding dress. And the red dress and shoes that I wore to our wedding rehearsal. Things that I will never again wear, but that I must always keep. A sewing machine. A gun cabinet/safe which houses all of our important documents. A freezer. Yes, we have a freezer in a bedroom. Remember? There is no where else to put it.

And now all of this has got me freaking out. I am in Super Nesting Mode today and I just want to get rid of so. many. things. My husband, on the other hand, wants to get rid of nothing. For example, I would be perfectly fine with selling the Wii Fit - the one that we've had for a year now and have used maybe 5 times. (You can't really play video games when you have an almost 2 year old underfoot. With a new baby on the way, I don't see how we will ever have the time again!) It's funny how pregnancy hormones make you think so irrationally, isn't it? There are 4 1/2 months to go before the baby is due, and even then, he will sleep in our room in a bassinet for the first few months. But my brain is telling me that I must make a nursery for him RIGHT NOW. I'd better go get started.

New News

2010-09-22T21:21:00.001-04:00

Sorry that I've been so quiet lately. I've been super, super busy working on a new project. Remember a few months ago when I talked about my dream of becoming a professional photographer? Well I went and made it happen. If you'd like to see my new photography website, it's right here. Thanks for the support!

Our Quick Getaway

2010-08-19T16:04:00.000-04:00

Denny & I wanted to spend some quality, baby-free time together before summer ended, so we planned a quick trip to Atlanta. We packed a lot of stuff into only 2 days and we had an amazing time! The only thing I didn't like was being away from Emily for so long. It's the longest we've been apart so far and although it was was much needed, I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon.

On our way to Atlanta, we stopped in Juliette to eat lunch at the Whistle Stop Cafe. We tried to eat there on our last trip up north but sadly, it was closed. We had much better luck this time! Of course we tried the fried green tomatoes which were good, but I am just not really a fan of tomatoes. The dipping sauce was awesome though.

I wanted to stay and walk around and take more pictures but it was just SO HOT. Denny was practically begging me to get in the car and go! We then stopped in Macon at Bass Pro Shop. Can you guess who wanted to stop there? We have one in Savannah but Denny said that it would be different, so he had to check it out. After that we were off to a store that I have been wanting to go to for years - IKEA! Those 3 hours that we spent there were my favorite part of the whole weekend. Seriously, if you have never been to an Ikea, GO! I could have lived in there. No really, there were beds and bathrooms and kitchens and I literally could have lived in there. While we were there we had to try some of their swedish meatballs. I didn't get a picture of them but trust me, they were good.

Did I mention that we got lost trying to find Ikea? Well we did. And then we got majorly lost when we left. We wanted to go to downtown Atlanta and check out the Olympic Park and Underground Atlanta. When we finally found what we were looking for, we were too scared to even get out of the car. I had assumed that we would be ok - we were right in the middle of everything. The World of Coke, CNN, the aquarium and the zoo were all right there, but let's just say that Atlanta's major attractions are not in the safest area. Or maybe it was because it was 6:00 on a Sunday evening. I bet that it is much different during the week, or at least I hope it is!

After we fled for our lives, I wanted to find a Kohl's store and check that out since I'd never been. If you've never been either, don't go. Seriously, don't even waste your time. So after getting lost again, we made one last stop to eat dinner at The Varsity! I was so super excited to eat there. I'd never been but had always wanted to go and it is super famous here in Georgia. I don't really like hot dogs but I just had to get one and I'm sorry if I upset you by what I'm about to say but, GROSS. There was absolutely nothing special about it and it tasted just like the ones at Krystal. Our fries weren't that good either and I honestly don't understand why the place is so popular! Here are some pictures anyway.

After dinner we were exhausted and tired of riding so it was time to find our hotel and get some sleep. And do you know what we did? We got lost. Again! In my defense, we did have our GPS with us but our hotel didn't show up on it. The funny thing is, we stopped to get gas as soon as we got off on our exit. Then we left the gas station and drove around for about 15 minutes looking for our hotel, only to find out that it was right behind the gas station where we had just been. We were literally a few hundred feet away from it and didn't even know it!

The second day of our trip was spent at Six Flags and we could not have picked a better day to go. Other than it being about 100 degrees that day and being covered in sweat after being there for an hour, it was unbelievably fun. We went on a Monday and the park was so empty! The first ride that we rode was the Scream Machine and we rode all by ourselves! We rode several rides without ever having to stand in line and the longest line we stood in was maybe 30 minutes. I didn't take my camera because I didn't want to have to keep up with it all day, and I'm glad we didn't take any pictures because we both looked like a hot mess. It was fun spending time with my sweety and it was so much fun to see him get scared when we were going up the first hill on all of the roller coasters. I can't wait until Emily is big enough to go!

Emily's Second Summer

2010-08-04T19:05:00.000-04:00

We have been busy at times, and not-so-busy at times, but at all times, I have been taking pictures so that I can remember what we have been doing. I have not updated this blog in over two months and I am so sad about that. I don't write anything in Emily's baby book - this is the only record that I keep of her life - and I haven't been keeping up with it at all. Hopefully I will do better.......

May 2010

Her hair was so short compared to how long it is now!

Her daddy put her water balls in her bathingsuit. And she didn't like it.

Mother's Day

She is just so beautiful

She loves to play with my phone

June 2010

For my birthday on the 1st, Denny got me the 50mm lens that I had been wanting for my camera. It is AMAZING. And this is my favorite picture that I have taken with it so far.

We made several trips to the park. Slides are so much fun!

Being silly at Grandmama's house.

She would spank me if she knew I put this on here.

She learned how to spin in a circle and make herself dizzy.

And I promise that she doesn't wear the same clothes every day.

She also learned how to "drive" the golf cart so now we have to be careful to always take out the key.

This is dark and out-of-focus but I had to show you what happens when her daddy gives her a bath.

My favorite dress

Such a funny expression!

She helps her daddy pick up sticks and pine cones in the yard.

We always call her "bucket-head" when she does this.

At the river.

Emily's Granny & Pop went on a big boat adventure and we dropped them off at the river.

As always, she loved the water.

You can't tell by the look on her face but she loves to swing!

She climbed the stairs and went down the slide all by herself!

Playing dress-up with mommy's clothes

Having a cool drink

She definitely has her daddy's sense of humor

July 2010

The pool and the water hose have had a lot of use on these hot summer days

This is the biggest slide she's gone down on her own

Taking it slow

Those curls kill me. I hope they never go away.

I found her sleeping this way one morning. I hope she wasn't uncomfortable!

Falling asleep on the job

Taking a break from the crowd at our family reunion

(more pictures from that day here)

Family Reunion - July 10, 2010

2010-08-04T19:04:00.000-04:00

My grandmother's family on my mom's side of the family had a reunion last month - the first one in several years. Here is what I captured from that day......

Fourth of July: 2010 Edition

2010-08-04T17:10:00.000-04:00

Just like last year, Emily and I spent the 4th of July holiday at Saint Simons Island, but this year, we had daddy with us! I don;t know about Emily, but I sure was glad to spend some quality time with the man in my life! I knew that Emily was going to be glad to get back to the beach but I never expected we would have as much fun as we had.

Emily looks ready for Christmas in her red and white bikini with her green diaper, doesn't she? We couldn't help it though - we had to put her diaper on for her bikini bottoms to stay up. She was too skinny for her suit!

I tried to get a picture of Emily with her name in the sand but she just would not stay still! Denny would put her beside it and she would run off before I could even press the button!

Enjoying some pizza before the fireworks begin

The fireworks were amazing and lasted for a long, long time. Emily was interested for about 30 seconds and then she was over it. She and her cousins played while us grown-ups watched the show.

Memorial Day Weekend: 2010 Edition

2010-07-28T20:16:00.000-04:00

As Denny likes to do on not-so-major holidays, he left Emily and I behind as he went four-wheeler riding with his friends. But did Emily and I stay home? Heck no! We loaded up the car, grabbed my mom and my sister, and went down to St. Simons Island to enjoy some fun in the sun! This was Emily's third trip to the beach and she loved it for the hour that we were there. We couldn't stay long because it was just so hot and the sun was so bright and Emily was in dire need of a nap.

The Parks & Recreation department has an awesome pool and playground on the island. We hung out at the pool for several hours and had a BLAST! Emily loves being in the water and she is totally fearless. She wanted so badly to swim on her own while we were in the "big" pool but my poor baby just didn't know how.

P.S. Please don;t be intimidated by my pasty white skin and overall pudginess. I don't understand why Sports Illustrated hasn't asked me to be on the cover of their swimsuit edition yet with what I've got going on.

Emily At (Almost) 15 Months

2010-05-21T12:33:00.000-04:00

*I'm not going to be writing monthly letters to Emily anymore, but I do want to write about things she is currently doing. I don't want to forget about any of it!

Emily is just non-stop action all. day. long. She's like the Energizer Bunny, she just keeps going and going and I don't know where she gets all of her energy but every night when I put her to bed I go straight to my room and crawl into bed too. I am so exhausted from keeping up with her!

And really, I don't know how she has so much energy. She has the food issues that I already wrote about and her non-eating means that she doesn't sleep as long as she should at night because she wakes up hungry after no more than 9 hours. In the last few days she has been making some improvements with her eating. We have started eating at the table as a family and this has helped Emily tremendously. She likes that we are sitting and eating with her and she will usually sit in her chair the entire time that Denny and I are eating without fussing or wanting to get down. Plus, she is actually eating while she is in her chair and that is just awesome.

Emily is still a very picky eater and will not touch fresh fruit. The only way she gets fruit is through juice (and she gets a very limited amount of that every day), fruit and grain breakfast bars and smoothies. I have offered her so many different things so many times and she always just turns her nose up at it. I did leave a grape sitting on the table yesterday and she did pick it up after a few minutes and gnawed on it for a bit. She never got it down but at least she got it into her mouth.

Dinner time has become an added part to our bedtime routine. Emily now knows that as soon as dinner is over it is bath time. As soon as we put her down from her high chair she goes running to the bathroom, trying to strip off all of her clothes as she goes!
Emily is still very, very skinny, but she seems to be starting to catch up just a bit. At her 12 month check-up she weighed 17 pounds and was 29 1/2 inches long. Then a few weeks later she was weighed again and was up to 18 pounds, so she gained 1 pound in 1 month. I weighed her again yesterday and she is just under 19 pounds!

Emily still loves to take a bath as much as always, but she also still hates to get her hair washed. She just cries the whole time and she wants to get out as soon as it's over. Sometimes we wash her at the beginning of her bath and she will stay in the tub and play until the water is cold. And sometimes she will stay in the tub even after all of the water has been drained out. She doesn't care, she just wants to play!

Emily has got to be the sweetest girl in the whole entire world. She has recently learned how to make a smacking sound when she gives kisses and so of course she loves to give kisses just so she can smack! She kisses anybody and anything that she can and it is so cute to watch. The other day after she finished nursing, we were sitting on the couch together and she leaned over and kissed my tummy. So sweet! She also is blowing kisses now and will always blow a kiss whenever she tells someone "bye-bye".

But when she isn't being sweet, she is BAD. I thought that things would be easy until we got closer to two years old, but no. The ones are certainly not always wonderful. She throws food off of her tray onto the floor. She empties drawers and cabinets before I even know what is going on. She rips my glasses off of my face and she hits and scratches. She pulls the dog's ears and she picks the cat up by her tail. Thankfully she only acts this way when she is tired and there is an easy fix to that problem!

She had been taking two naps a day - one in the morning and one in the late afternoon - but we are transitioning to one mid-afternoon nap every day. So far we have done this for two days and she is sleeping a little bit longer at night. My biggest dream is to sleep past 8:00 every day (she usually goes to bed between 9:00 and 10:00).

She likes to share her food with others. Since we are having such nice weather here we have been going outside a lot during the day. Magnum usually hangs out on our porch and as soon as Emily sees him she will run over to him with whatever food she is snacking on. She loves to feed people too. She is constantly trying to feed me, her Daddy, and anyone else that might be around. I hope she always has such a giving, sharing spirit.

As always, she loves to be outside, and she would stay outside all day long if we would let her. If Denny or I go anywhere near the door and she isn't in our arms, she will get so mad and pitch a fit until we pick her up and take her with us - even if we're just taking out the trash. Her favorite thing to do outside is ride the golf cart and the four-wheeler. She also will climb into her car or into her wagon and "ask" for a ride. A few weeks ago Denny got a shiny new four-wheeler and Emily is obsessed with it. If it is out in the yard (and not under the shelter) she will run over to it and reach up as high as she can, trying to get on. When Denny takes her for rides she will put her hands on the handlebars and "drive" and she tries to move the gear shift. She thinks it is just the coolest thing ever.

A few nights ago I asked Emily if she was ready to go "night-night" and she shook her head no. It was so hilarious that she knew what I was asking her and how to respond. Denny and I just cracked up at her!

She recently learned how to climb on top of our coffee table. She will just get up there and sit like it is a big chair. She can also climb into almost any chair, but she can't get on the couch by herself yet. She also knows how to walk backwards and how to kick a ball.

When Emily doesn't get her way, she gets PISSED. She will fall on the floor and scream and squeal. She kicks and hits and then before you know it, she forgets all about what has made her so mad and she is completely fine. She is going to be such a drama queen, help me Lord.

I think she is going to be a girly-girl. She seems to like dressing up. She will get my clothes out of the clean laundry pile (that is always in a heap on our couch these days) and wrap them around herself and put her head through the holes. She puts on mine and Denny's shoes too, and tries to walk around in them. She never gets very far though. I think we are going to have to get her a dress-up set soon.

She has two new teeth in the top of her mouth, but they really haven't bothered her very much. She has been gnawing on her toys and she's been using pretzels as teethers lately, but she really hasn't had a lot of pain this time around.

She can now say apple, thank you, baby, Pop, baa (the sound that the deer makes - we have a deer in our backyard) and boobies. Thank goodness that her saying the word boobies sounds a lot like her word for baby otherwise that might get kinda awkward sometimes.

Speaking of boobies, Emily still nurses two times a day. Once in the morning as soon as she wakes up, and once at night, just before she goes to bed. It makes it so much easier to get out of the house and do things now, both with her and without her, but I am glad that she does still breastfeed. I am going to miss it when she stops.

And now, some pictures!

Dangerous

2010-05-11T21:33:00.000-04:00

We don't live in the middle of nowhere, but we do live pretty close to it. Our house is on a dirt road which is about two miles long. Within those two miles, there are four houses besides ours. Needless to say, it is really quiet around here. Not much goes on besides farming and four-wheeler riding. I don't love where I live, but it is safe and that is the main reason why I am ok with living here.

Where we live is so safe, that until yesterday, all of our vehicles (including our golf cart, tractor and four-wheelers) sat unlocked with the keys in the ignition. We don't even lock the doors to our house when we are away from home. Denny doesn't have a house key on his key chain and I didn't until we went on vacation last year and we actually locked up since Denny's parents (who live across the road - and when I say across the road, I mean 1/4 mile away) were on vacation with us.

But yesterday, all of that changed. As I was turning onto our dirt road yesterday afternoon, I saw several police cars a few hundred feet down the highway, parked on the side of the road. Strange, I thought. Really strange. I didn't think much of it until Denny got home and his dad called to let him know what was going on. The police were surrounding the woods all around our house because they were looking for a man who was apparently hiding in there. As soon as Denny got off the phone he was ready to go looking for the guy. We have a lot of big, enclosed deer stands all around our property which would have made excellent hiding spots and Denny just knew that he'd be in one of them. That would have been ok if Denny had taken a gun with him. We didn't know anything about this guy. He probably wasn't armed or dangerous, only really, really dumb, but you just never know.

To say that I was freaked out would be a huge understatement. I was terrified. He could have stolen Denny's truck and gotten away. He could have been hiding in our camper until he thought it was safe to try and get away. He could have been hiding IN OUR HOUSE. We have guns in our house. Lots of them. And the gun safe isn't usually locked. It makes me sick to think of what could have happened. Thank God, nothing did.

As it turned out, the man wasn't dangerous. All he did was steal one of our neighbor's four-wheelers. Then he was stupid enough to ride it around the day after he stole it and since word gets around quickly around here and other people knew it had been stolen, they called the police. Another neighbor saw the guy riding and followed him, scaring him into abandoning the four-wheeler on the side of the road - just past our house. We haven't heard whether or not he was caught, but the police were gone after a few hours so either they caught him or, most likely, they gave up.

We are so totally locking our doors from now on.

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was only my second Mother's Day, so since Emily is only 14 months old I am letting her off the hook for not making me breakfast in bed and doing all of the laundry that needed to be done.

Denny though? Is not off the hook.

Ok, so yesterday morning he did a wonderful thing and took care of Emily while I slept in until 9:30. (Also: Who ever thought it was a good idea to celebrate Mother's Day on a Sunday, a day when a most people get up early to go to church? Why not Saturday when I could have slept as long as I wanted to? Because believe me, 9:30 was not nearly late enough.)

But after that, he was kinda like, ok, I let you sleep late, Happy Mother's Day to you and don't expect anything else because that's all I got. (I did however get a movie and a super awesome card).

All I wanted to do yesterday was work on a (super secret) project of mine that I started on Friday. I am so close to finishing and I only needed one little thing to finish but Denny didn't want to stop at Walmart after church because people were waiting on us. And oh my goodness we can not let people wait for 5 minutes because that would just be terrible.

What were they waiting on? My food. Yes, I had to cook for 14 people on Mother's Day. Because my husband didn't get the memo that it was MOTHER'S DAY and I was not supposed to be cooking. HE was supposed to be cooking, duh. But I am pretty sure that his family did not care to eat burnt grilled cheese sandwiches or boiled hot dogs and so I am the one who did the cooking.

We then preceeded to stay at his parents' house almost all day long so I didn't get a chance to hang out with my mom (sorry mom, maybe next year you will be celebrated properly) and my argument that I am not the most important mother in my husband's life was further proven correct.

When we finally got home, I asked Denny to help me cut a piece of wood. One piece of wood. Two cuts. It would have taken 5 minutes, tops. He responded by basically ignoring me and falling asleep on the couch a few minutes later. I shut myself up in the office while Emily napped and looked at fabric on Etsy which gave me baby fever even worse because OMG it is all so cute. When I finally came out, Denny was outside washing his truck and not cutting my piece of wood and I was not amused.

To top it all off, he was in a less than pleasant mood all day long and at that point I had had enough and I told him exactly what I thought of himself. He didn't cut the wood after that, but he did cut some plexiglass for me. Making Denny feel like crap gets things done for me, so I don't really feel bad for making him feel bad.

It was hopefully the worst Mother's Day that I will ever have. It can't get worse, can it?

On a related note, I cannot wait for Father's Day.

Show Us Your Life: Baby Names

2010-05-07T11:48:00.000-04:00

*Today is the first day since I started substitute teaching that I don't have any work to do during my planning period. Grades are due today and I am early for something for the first time in my life and mine are all done! Finally I have time to do something that I want to do!

Emily Willow - So far, Emily is our only child. I was just a few weeks away from my due date and Denny and I just had no idea what we wanted to name our baby. We both had names that we liked but we just couldn't agree on any of them. We knew that we wanted something traditional, nothing that would be hard to spell, hard to pronounce, or easy to be made fun of once she got older.So one day we went shopping with Denny's mom and sister and we were talking about names and his sister suggested Emily. We both loved that name but it still took us a few more days to make a decision.

I knew before I ever got pregnant that when I had a girl I wanted to honor my grandmama by using her name, Willodean, in some way. So we went with Willow for her middle name. I would have used Willow as her first name since it is so pretty and feminine but I am all about children having their own names that are all theirs and don't have to be shared with anyone else (I especially don't like it when boys are juniors and named after their fathers - so unoriginal!).

Emily's name has a beautiful meaning too. Emily means hardworking and Willow just means willow, so I think the two names balance each other out.

Future Children: I hope to have several more children, and I really hope to have another one really soon (I have baby fever, and I have it bad). We want to give all of our children strong, traditional names. For a boy, I really like the names Levi, Elliot (my mom's little brother's middle name was Eliot and he passed away a few years ago so this would be to honor him since I was closer to him that I am to any of my other aunts and uncles), Elijah, (and I like Eli which could be used for both Elliot and Elijah), Silas, Oliver, and Kellan (which really doesn't fit in with the rest, but I still like it).

For girl names, I don't have a clue! I really like Charlotte but I don't know if I like it enough to use it. Maybe for a middle name? I love the name Cora and hopefully Denny will too. Cora Charlotte, that sounds good to me!

Hard

2010-05-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I've been substitute teaching for a girl on maternity leave and I just haven't had time. When I am here, there is no time for me to do anything because these children, let me tell you, are ridiculous. When I get home in the afternoons the only thing that matters to me is Emily. I don't care that my blog isn't updated. I don't care that the laundry is piled 4 feet high. I don't care that my sink is full of dishes. I just want to spend every minute with her.

Except for the minutes when she is napping. And then I'm napping too.

Working? And being a mother? It's hard. And it's not for me. I thought I had figured that out last year when I did this same thing, but I must have forgotten. I can't do this. I just can't be away from my baby.

I'll admit it; I'm lucky. Blessed. Whichever way you want to look at it, in the end I am very fortunate. I don't have to work. We can make it on one salary. I might not be able to buy everything that I want when I'm not working, but I certainly have everything that I need.

And what I need right now is to be home with Emily. I miss her so much and it just breaks my heart to leave her every morning. I've been working for 5 1/2 weeks. I only have 7 days to go and most days I honestly don't know if I'm going to make it until the end. Yesterday when I left here I was ready to never come back, but I can't go burning any bridges so here I am again today. I just cannot wait to be a stay at home mommy again. Emily needs me. I need Emily.

Photoshoot With Makayla

2010-04-19T19:53:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon Emily and I went to my mom's house to see my Grandma who was visiting. Soon after she left, Emily took a nap, leaving me with not much to do. So I grabbed my camera and my sister and we headed outside for a few shots before the sun went down. We got some really cute pictures and I got to practice using my camera's Manual setting some more.

Strawberry Festival

2010-04-19T19:46:00.000-04:00

There is a huge farm not too far from here where you can pick your own strawberries, among other things, but right now happens to be strawberry season. To kick the season off every year they have a strawberry festival and since we've never been we thought that this year would be a good year to go. So two Saturdays ago we headed out to Ottawa Farms and we went to pickin'! There was tons of stuff to do, but Emily was too small to do any of it. Maybe next year she will be big enough to ride the ponies, bounce on the inflatables and ride the train. But this year she had enough fun picking and eating strawberries!

Watching the ponies

She knew just what to do!

This is the only way she will eat strawberries - warmed by the sun!

Emily's 2nd Easter

2010-04-10T18:05:00.002-04:00

*Warning: This post is extremely picture heavy. That's why it took me so long to post this because OMG I had hundreds of pictures from only two days.

Well, Emily's second Easter was way more fun than her first. Last year? She didn't even get an Easter basket. Or hunt any eggs. But this year? Oh my. This year made up for all that last year didn't bring.

On the Saturday before Easter, there was an Easter Egg Hunt for all of the littles at our church.

And then before we knew it, Easter morning had arrived! It was time to see what the Bunny brought.....

And out of all of that stuff, can you guess what she plays with the most? The 12 plastic eggs that I paid ONE WHOLE DOLLAR for. Of course.

After we got a sugar rush from all of the Reese's Pieces that her daddy gave her, it was time to go to church! We got all dressed up in our Easter clothes. Emily's were the only ones that were new, and that's ok. I think we all looked just adorable!

After church, we went to Denny's parents' house for the rest of the day. Emily and all of her cousins got Easter buckets filled with goodies.

Then we all went outside to dye eggs. Well, all of us except for Emily. She had better things to do.

Then, Emily's Nannie & Pa stopped by, as well as her Nana and Aunt Makayla. And Nannie & Pa had more Easter presents!

Time to hunt!

Emily had a very, very Happy Easter!

Food Issues

2010-04-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

I know that I can't expect Emily to eat anything and everything that I feed her. I also know that I should expect to have a few food issues with Emily now that she is a toddler, but My Lord, the issues. They are many, and they are fierce.

Like, she won't eat anything from a spoon. Oh, I take that back. She won't eat anything from a baby spoon. Because if it's on a baby spoon then it's obviously baby food and she is not a baby she is a big girl OMG. She will, however, accept food from our "big" spoons and forks. She might not always keep it in her mouth, but at least she lets us put it in. Sometimes.

Foods that used to be her favorites, like oatmeal, yogurt, and fruit are now her worst food enemies. Mainly because oatmeal and yogurt are eaten with a spoon, but the fruit thing is something else altogether. She won't eat fruit because it's cold. In fact, she won't eat anything that is cold. Except for cheese. She would eat cheese and only cheese all day every day and be totally happy about it (she is her mother's child - she totally gets that from me). But I do like for her to not be constipated, so, no.

It is very rare that she will let Denny and I put food into her mouth. If we have something to eat that she wants, we have to put in in her hand and let her feed it to herself. She wants to do it all by herself all the time, and that is why there are orange and red stains in my carpet from the carrots and strawberries that she spit out and stomped on.

Yes, when she doesn't like food she will spit it out and instead of handing it to me or putting it back on her tray, she will mash it into the carpet and smear it all around if I don't pick it up fast enough.
Here are the things that she will eat: cheese, hot dogs (gross), chicken nuggets sometimes, fish sticks, meatloaf, pizza (OMG she LOVES pizza) spaghetti (or any other type of noodle with spaghetti sauce), macaroni and cheese, eggs, omelets, ham, grilled cheese sandwiches, graham crackers, goldfish, pretzels, smoothies (I am totally tricking her into eating fruit with those) peas, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and that's about it. I am going to have to start shredding vegetables into her food and sneak them into her. She eats like a college boy, and it is disgusting.

She will not sit in her chair and eat, and I know that this is because she is a toddler and she cannot be still not even for a second, but it is really annoying. We have a "low" chair that is made to sit in an adult chair kind of like a baby booster seat, but we never actually put it in a chair. When Emily eats, we put the food on the tray and sit the chair on the floor so that Emily can walk by and grab a bite as she is running all over the house. It takes a while for her to eat.

Our pediatrician recommended that I try weaning her because she is so little - she only weighs 17 pounds - but she will NOT drink whole milk. I tried and I tried and I tried, but she just isn't taking it. I think she knows what I am trying to do, and she is not happy about it. I'm not exactly 100% ready to quit nursing, but I would like to be able to use the bathroom without her coming up to me, pulling up my shirt and taking a drink WHILE I AM ON THE TOILET. Yes, that really happened today.

But seriously, she wants to nurse all the time. She gets so full of milk that she doesn't have any room left for real food and that's why the doctor said I need to cut back. But that girl, she can get the boobies all by herself. There really isn't much that I can do to stop her.

She hates water. Hates it, hates it, hates it. Unless it is in my cup, in a cup with a straw, or in the bathtub. Gross. But she only gets very-diluted juice once or twice a day, and the rest of the time she gets water. If she is really, truly thirsty, she will drink the water, right?

Are these normal issues for a toddler her age? Is this just a phase that she is going through right now? Will she ever eat normal food? Please tell me good things because I read in a magazine that one couple had their kids taken away from them because they were too little and they were accused of starving them so they wouldn't be fat. I know, it is extremely unlikely that Emily is going to be taken away from us, but really, I worry about her so much.

Emily's Birthday Party

2010-04-01T17:52:00.000-04:00

Emily's 1st birthday party was over a month ago, and I just now sat down and edited some of the pictures. I am totally out of the running for Mom Of The Year, but oh well. At least I took pictures.........

That day was the busiest day ever! I was still cooking when our guests started arriving and I didn't have time to take many pictures of the food and the decorations. I could have taken pictures of the food after the party, but it was almost all gone. What can I say? I'm a good cook!

This is her birthday hat that I "made" and she wore it for about 30 seconds.

Her smash cake that I also made.

She is NOT a fan of getting her hands dirty, so she wasn't too sure about touching her cake...

...but she finally dug in...

...and she ate about two bites before she had a meltdown and was ready to get cleaned up.

And here are the cupcakes that everyone else ate. I wish I had taken more (and better) pictures of them. My brother-in-law didn't think they were real when he first saw them!

Presents! She got blocks,

clothes,

a wagon full of beach/sand toys,

a push-around car,

and a red wagon from her daddy and me!

Here are some other random pictures from our day...

The Puzzle

2010-03-14T17:30:00.001-04:00

Lately I have been feeling like my life is like a one thousand piece puzzle. It's so hard for me to get all of the pieces to connect and sometimes I just have to step away for a while, but in the end I come back to it with a fresh perspective and all of the pieces eventually come together. My biggest struggle is trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I thought I had it all figured out, but as you can tell from my last post, I clearly do not.

Being a mother is a full-time job, and the most important job that I will ever have. I love being a mom, but at the end of the day, after that is all that I have done, I just don't feel accomplished. I feel like something is missing from my life and while I do not in any way want a "normal" job, I want to do something.

And so, I have this dream of something that I want to do. I love it more than teaching, but teaching I know I can do. I love it more than the idea of nursing, and nursing I know that I can't do. It's something that I already do every single day but for some reason I just fail to see that I am good at it. Deep, deep down, I know that I am good at it. I know that I have a talent. I am just afraid to admit it to myself or to anyone else because I am afraid. I am afraid of failing.

I want to be a photographer.

There, it's out. I said it. Now you know.

I just don't know how to turn that dream into a reality.

I've spent a lot of time lately looking at other photographers' work. I've been comparing what I do to what they do and honestly? I can do this. I can do this well. I just have to remind myself that I can.

I can. I can do this.

"Anyone can take a picture, but it takes someone special to capture a moment."

I made that up. Just now, in my head. It's ok, you can be impressed. I certainly am.

Spring

2010-03-14T09:57:00.001-04:00

In case you were wondering, that tree limb did land that way in my backyard during a storm this week. And yes, that calf does have five legs.

Plans

2010-03-12T13:24:00.000-05:00

I heard the other day that 24 teachers are going to be laid off in our county at the end of this school year. If that is true, the chances of me finding a job just went to zero. I know (well, I believe) that everything happens for a reason, and that what is meant to be, will be. But lately I am having a hard time trying to understand why my life has turned out the way that it did. I have also become even more discouraged and upset than I already was with our government. I can understand that there need to be budget cuts, but do they really have to take away from schools? From the children? Sigh.......

My plans were great, noble plans, or so I thought. I was going to do something that surely God would have wanted me to do - it was much greater than simply being a wife and mother. My plans for my life were a lot different than God's plans. When I started college, my plan was to get my nursing degree, then transfer to another school in Atlanta where I would get my Midwifery certificate. I was going to ~~deliver~~ catch babies. And that's not all I was going to do, oh no. I was going to take those Midwifery skills and go to Africa and catch babies and educate mothers about breastfeeding and make a difference in the world. I was going to be Mother Teresa Junior, and I was going to do big things.

Unfortunately, I failed Anatomy. Twice. And there was no way I was even going to risk taking Chemistry and cause my GPA to fall even lower. And you all remember what happens when I see needles, right? So yeah, nursing is NOT something that I can, or should do.

After the unfortunate anatomy flops, I lost my scholarship and I quit going to all of my classes halfway through my third semester. I was doing all kinds of crazy things and I broke up with my boyfriend and it all got so bad that I had to seek psychiatric help. I was seven kinds of screwed up and my life was spinning out of control. Then my counselor suggested that I take an aptitude test, which told me exactly what I had known since I was a little girl playing school with my brother; I was cut out for teaching, and really not anything else.

I could be a teacher. There are no needles involved in teaching, and very rarely is there any blood. Fast forward to May 2008 and there I am, walking across the stage as a teacher. Teaching isn't exactly as fun or exciting as babies, but obviously it was what I was supposed to do, otherwise God wouldn't have let me get as far with it as I did. He would have steered me in another direction, or put up a roadblock so that I would go another route. But He didn't and now I have a two-year old teaching degree that is covered in dust from going unused for all this time (as well as thousands of dollars in student loan debt). And I don't know what to make of it all.
If I was supposed to go to Africa (or any other poor, desolate country that needed me), surely God would have sent me there before I got married and had a baby. I can't just up and leave and go to Africa now. So what am I supposed to do with my life? I feel like there is something more that I am supposed to be doing with my life, I'm just not sure what that is yet.

At times I think that God is trying to tell me that I will teach, just not in the way that I envisioned. I think He's trying to tell me that he wants me to homeschool my children, and I LOVE that idea. I cannot stand to be away from Emily (I am away from her right now and it is killing me) and I dread the thought of sending her away for the majority of her time awake when she is only four years old. I don't understand how people do it, but maybe in three years I will be ready for that time away from her. Somehow I doubt that.

It's funny isn't it, how life works out? How our plans are so much different than God's plans and even though we think we know what is best, His plans are better. It's so funny, I forgot to laugh.....

You Capture: Quiet

2010-03-11T15:41:00.002-05:00

She's quiet at night, snuggled up with Daddy before bedtime.

She's quiet when her mouth is full.

She's quiet when she is climbing the front porch steps, so concentrated & trying not to fall.

She's quiet when she swings because she's still not sure if she loves it or if she hates it.

She's quiet while she watches the dog.....

.....and while she waits to go outside.

But my favorite of all is when we are quiet together. I have to savor these moments because they are almost over.....

You can see many more beautiful You Capture photos here.

Month 12

2010-03-07T12:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Emily,

You are 1 year old! This past year has been the best, but also the hardest year of my life. You have brought so much joy to my life, and because of you, I finally know what real, unconditional love feels like. I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished in these 12 short months. I am also proud of myself for keeping you (and myself) alive, proving that I can do this. We have both grown so much and not a day goes by that you don't amaze me with something new that you have learned. Slow down, baby girl, slow down.

In February, you learned how to get down from the couch all by yourself. Now only if you could learn to get up there all by yourself, we would all be much happier. You LOVE being on the couch, but that's probably because you love to get my cup which is usually on the table beside the couch. You think it is so neat to drink out of mommy's "big" cup, and it's a good thing there is always water in it because it always gets spilled.

You can now say say ball, all done/all gone (you say the same thing for both and you use your hands), cow, and either no-no or Nana - I can't tell which it is. If you want to go somewhere you will get your jacket from your room and bring it to me or daddy. You are aware of when you wet your diaper too - you will look down at it and try to pull it off. When I am changing your diaper you sometimes get away from me and you have peed on the floor a few times. You know when you are peeing because you will squat and look down at it and then run away as soon as you are done. I have had to shampoo the carpet a lot lately, but I am glad that you know what is going on down there. Hopefully it will help when you start learning to use the potty!

Right now, your eating habits are not the best. You hate to sit still for anything and you just will not sit in your highchair to eat a meal. You eat a little bit and then you want to get down. Usually you just eat a little bit of everything all day long, plus you still nurse 4 or 5 times every day. You love to do it still and it is the first thing that you want to do when you wake up in the morning. I am proud of us that we breastfed for a whole year, and although I am not looking forward to you weaning (whenever you are ready), I can't wait to not be tied down by it anymore.

And plus, there are the 6 teeth that you have now. You got your sixth tooth on February fourth (I think!) and even though you rarely ever bite me, when you do, you bite hard. You look so funny with teeth in your mouth. They almost look like they don't belong in there because teeth are for big girls, and when I look at you I don't always see you as a big girl. You're still just a little baby to me! When you first got your teeth, you didn't mind me brushing them, but now you won't let me anywhere near them. You are extremely independent and you want to brush them yourself, so I let you hold the toothbrush in your mouth and I hold your hand and brush as quickly as I can. You can really be difficult sometimes!

But sometimes you are the easiest baby in the world. You can play by yourself while I do things around the house and you are fine with that. You still go to sleep on your own at night and at nap time (even though last week you would NOT go to sleep without being rocked. I don't know what was up with that, but I kind of miss it now) and you sleep for about 10 straight hours at night. Some days you take two hour-long naps, and some days you take one long, two - three hour nap. And some days, we take naps together.

One of your favorite things to do now is go riding - on the golf cart, in daddy's truck when we go look at the cows, and in your wagon and car that you got for your birthday. We keep your car inside and you will just go sit in it and look at me and daddy, asking us with your eyes if we will push you around the house. We do this a lot. You also love to listen to music on You tube. Daddy started this around Christmastime when you wanted to hear Jingle Bells over and over and over. Your favorite songs are Five Little Monkeys, Rain Rain Go Away and If You're Happy And You Know It. When those songs are on you clap your hands and swing your arms and bounce up and down - you just get so excited!

What else happened in February? You got sick (and so did Daddy & I) with a stomach virus. You didn't let it slow you down, though! Then....

We went to Grandmama's house......

....and you found a paci to suck on, even though you haven't had one in months!

You played tug-of-war with Daddy.

I finally started learning how to properly use my camera and I took tons of pictures of you.

You celebrated your first Valentine's Day.

We went to the park.

You finally let me get a picture of your teeth.

You drove the golf cart.

You wore the dress that I made you.

You got into everything.

Then you got into everything at Nana's house.

You stuck out your tongue.....

...and made me smile.

You had your very first birthday party.

You were beautiful.....

.....and mischievous.....

.....and unsure.

You smelled the flowers.

And you were loved. Oh, how much you were loved.

My baby girl, you will always, always be my baby girl. I hope that we have many more years together, you and I. I love you more than you can ever know.

Love, Mommy

A Day At The Park

2010-02-25T18:41:00.000-05:00

Although we have been having some unusually super cold weather for an unusually long time this winter, we did have a nice, warm weekend to enjoy. We all were so happy to be able to get out of the house for a while, especially Emily!

For some reason, the park closest to our house does not have any baby swings, and the big park in town does not have any swings. Weird. And annoying. I would love to put Emily in one because she likes to swing more than she likes to slide, but I just don't know where any are around here. Locals, do you know where we can find some baby swings?

Our Snow Day

2010-02-23T14:05:00.000-05:00

For some people, snow is nothing special. For some people, snow is a pain in the butt. But for us? Snow is AMAZING.

We never get snow here. Ok, so we do get snow sometimes, but usually only once every decade and it's only a few flurries. Until this time, it had only snowed here twice in my lifetime, and one of those two times I don't even remember because I was so young. The only reason I know it happened is because there are pictures of it. It's kind of like Emily's first snow: she is too young to ever remember it, but there are plenty of pictures for her to look at someday.

Denny & I had a blast. It was the first time either of us had ever built a snowman, had a snowball fight, and ridden on a sled. Well, a redneck sled. We don't have much need for a real sled where we live, so Denny improvised by putting a spare golf cart roof behind our golf cart, and we took turns pulling each other. It was one of the most fun things I have ever done in my entire life! Emily wasn't too sure about the snow. She didn't like walking on it because it was so slippery, and she absolutely hated being bundled up in her thick coat. But sledding? She loved sledding. We just might have to take a vacation to somewhere cold and snowy when she (and her brothers and sisters) are a bit older!

Back

2010-02-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

I feel like such a bad person, when the truth is I'm just a bad blogger. And I don't like that about myself. I like blogging, and I wish I did it more.

I feel like I have failed at it, and by failing at blogging, I have failed at saving the memories of Emily's first year. I am horrible at writing things in her baby book, and I had intended for this blog to be the place where all of her firsts would be remembered forever. But sadly, there are a lot of things that have gotten left out.

On Twitter yesterday, someone said (and I'm sorry that I don't remember who it was; I wish I did so I could give them credit) that blogging is like exercise; the longer you go without doing it, the harder it is to start back. And it is so, so true for me. It's been so long that I don't even know how or where to start. But I'm gonna try.

Month 11

2010-02-16T19:49:00.000-05:00

My Emily,

Once again I have put off writing your monthly letter for so long that I can barely remember what happened in your eleventh month. Honestly, we didn't do anything that was very exciting or memorable since it was so, so cold that we stayed cooped up indoors for most of the time. You hate to be inside, and you love to be outside, so January (and the half of February that has already passed) has been a bit miserable for us all.

You spent the first few days of the month practicing the walking that you started doing on New Years Day, and you have not slowed down ever since then. You absolutely hate to be still and I have to hold you down in a death grip to change your diaper. And feeding you isn't easy either since you have to sit down in your chair to eat, which most of the time ends in you screaming and me chasing you around the house with a spoon. Most of what you eat right now is goldfish crackers - even though I really don't like feeding those to you, if they are all you will eat then they are better than nothing. Eating isn't really one of your favorite things to do these days and I don't know how you manage to survive on what seems like only tablespoons of food per day, but somehow you do.

I'm thinking that maybe all of these new teeth that you are getting are throwing you off and you're not quite sure how to use them yet. At the end of the month you had five teeth - you got your fourth one of the 21st, and your fifth tooth on the 30th. You are a champ at cutting teeth and unlike the first two teeth that kept you (and Daddy and I) awake all night for several nights in a row, these newest teeth haven't interrupted your sleep at all. Hooray! You are sleeping for about 10 straight hours at night now, and you take two naps on most day. You are sleeping better than you ever have before, and so am I baby, so am I. (Thank you God.)

In January I started taking at least 1 picture every day (which ended up being at least 20 every day) and so there are TONS of pictures of you from this month. Pictures of you playing, pictures of you plundering, pictures of you just being silly. And I am so glad that I have these pictures so that I can remember you and these times with you. You are growing up so fast and I feel like I don't have a baby at all anymore. You walk and talk and you understand things that I tell you. You climb and you run and you help me around the house.

You are infatuated with your daddy and it is so sweet to watch the two of you together. Every morning before he leaves for work you follow him around and cling to his leg and you cry when he finally leaves. Your face lights up like the sun when he comes home in the afternoon and no matter how cold it is outside, he bundles you up and takes you out for a few minutes. This is probably your most favorite time of the day. Not only do you love daddy and being outside, but outside is where the dogs are. And you LOVE THE DOGS. You pet them and they lick you and you just squeal! You spend a lot of time each day looking out the window at them, and every time you hear them bark you will say "doh!" (dog) and get so tickled at hearing them. I have been trying to get daddy to let us have a smaller, less hyper inside dog, but no suck luck yet baby girl.

I can't believe how quickly time is passing us by. I love you my Emily, my baby girl.

Love, Mommy

Confessions

2010-01-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

I don't even know why I am telling you all this, since it is kind of a personal, secretive kind of thing, but the truth is, we are already thinking about baby #2. That doesn't in any way at all mean that we are trying for baby #2 because we most definitely are NOT, but I'm a planner, and I am planning ahead. Way ahead.

I'm also a daydreamer. When I lie awake at night, or in the mornings after Emily has drifted back off to sleep, I like to think about the future. I know that I can't control and plan every little detail of my life, but in my dreams I can do whatever I want. And what I want is more babies. Someday.

I've always dreamed of having four children. I definitely don't want three, because then we would have a middle child and middle child syndrome is a seriously nasty problem that I do not want to deal with any more than I already have to. My brother is a middle child and whoa! It is out. of. control. Denny agrees with me on the middle child thing, since he is a middle child too and he's got a bad case of it, but his solution to the problem is to only have two children. And that? Just does not work for me.

I am so excited about having another baby, but I'm nervous about it too. If the next baby is another girl, then it should be no problem convincing Denny to go ahead and have another (and another). We both want a boy so badly and I am willing to keep trying until we have a son. But if the next one is a boy, it is going to be nearly impossible to get Denny to agree to a third child.

Plus, there are always so many opinions from other people that we are given (without asking for them) and the majority opinion seems to be that once a couple has a girl and a boy, then they are done. The family is complete, end of story, your baby making years are over. And sometimes that is the opinion even if both children are the same sex. Two seems to be the limit for most people and they can't seem to understand why on earth anybody would want more than two children, even if they have more than two themselves. In my mind, having one boy and one girl does not mean that my family is complete. It just means that we are getting warmed up! I read on another blog somewhere about a family who has four daughters, they have adopted one son, and they are planning to adopt at least one more. The mom says that everywhere she goes people comment on how she has her hands full. And the part that I absolutely love about all of this is that she comments right back that her hands are not as full as her heart. Isn't that beautiful?

Maybe people should just mind their own business. Maybe I should just quit blogging about anything other than Emily and what she does because I get way off track and I get heated up about silly things like other people's opinions and I just wish that I could pack up all of our things and move to Texas. Yes, Texas. That is where we'd go if we ever move away.

And now I've got to go and change Emily's diaper because she decided that right now is the best time to come and stand right beside me and sling out a poop and Oh my God we are such back woods hillbillies we need to get with the times and get ourselves some disposable diapers because cloth diapers are so disgusting and hard to use blah blah blah.

Help For Haiti

2010-01-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

I don't usually watch the news, any by don't usually, I mean never. I never watch the news unless I happen to be at my in-laws' house at news time, or if I see on Twitter that something significant is going on, like the Balloon Boy hoax. The last time I watched the news, I found out that two men that I know were arrested for child molestation. One was a teacher whose classroom I taught in while I was in college, and one was a preacher that I have known for most of my life. For the most part, the news is nothing but bad news, and I would rather just not know about any of it. Ignorance is bliss, right?

I had heard that there was an earthquake in Haiti, but I hadn't seen anything about it until this morning. I hadn't looked it up online or clicked the TV over to CNN to see what was going on. I had no idea how devastating it was, how many people had died, how much help was needed. I honestly didn't want to know, but then bloggers began to write about it, and my curiousity grew. I had to find out what all of the fuss was about, and I am so glad that I did.

I have never given to any kind of charity or cause before, especially when I don't get anything in return. I rarely even buy Girl Scout cookies because they are $3 a box. My husband has made me cheap. But today, I gave. I didn't give much, and it doesn't take much, if we all give just a little bit. Even if you only have $1 to spare, it is more than most people in Haiti have right now. They have lost everything, and they didn't have much to begin with, but you can help them to survive. Never has it been so easy to give as it is today. You can give from right where you are sitting. Here are a few ways:

You can text the word "Haiti" to 90999 and $10 will be donated to the Red Cross disaster relief fund for Haiti.

Or you can text the word "disaster" to 90999 and $10 will be donated to Compassion International's disaster relief program. The charge will appear on your next phone bill

You can also go online to donate any amount to Compassion International, the American Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, and Samaritan's Purse.

There are also a few bloggers you can visit who will donate money for comments that you leave on their site. For every comment on this post, the Pioneer Woman will donate 10 cents to the top three mentioned charities, and also she is giving away 2 $500 donations to the winners' charity of choice.

Kelly of Kelly's Korner is urging you to donate, and if you do and leave a comment on this post that you did, she will donate $1 for every comment up to $1000.

There is also a Hope For Haiti blog which is holding tons of raffles to benefit Haiti. Each $1 donation gives you one entry to the raffle of your choice. You can enter as many times as you want, and there are some awesome prizes.

Please help in any way that you can.

New Year, New Me

2010-01-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know I'm 3 days late with this, but better late than never, right? I've decided to put my resolutions out there for all to see, so that hopefully I will follow through with them. All of them. Hold me accountable, ok?

This is the first time I have ever made any resolutions, and I think they are very much do-able. Here they are:

Exercise at least 4 times every week. Since we have a Wii Fit now, (which is awesome and I am already addicted to it) I have no excuse not to work out!
Eat 1 serving of fruit every day.
Pray every day.
Read my Bible every day.
Make nighttime prayers a part of Emily's bedtime routine and begin saying the blessing before every meal.
Make it to church every Sunday.
Be a better wife to Denny.
Spend more quality time with Emily. I am here with her every day, but I am not always with her.
Learn how to use the Manual setting on my camera.
Take pictures every day.
Be a better blogger. I enjoy blogging and I need to make time to do it more often.

So, what do you think? I'd say those are all very easy things to do and I should have no problem doing them all year long. I'll let you know how things are going in a few weeks!

A Year In Our Life

2010-01-04T20:54:00.000-05:00

I've seen several other bloggers who are taking one picture a day, every day, this year. I love this idea and I wish that I had been doing that every day since Emily was born. I am a little late in telling you about it, but I have managed to take pictures every day so far! If you would like to follow along on our journey, you can do so here. Enjoy!

Christmas Wrap-Up

2010-01-04T16:04:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Christmas 7 times this year, no wait, that was actually last year, and I am just that far behind. I took a boatload of pictures and I have been scared of transferring them to my computer and editing them because I knew that it would take DAYS for me to go through all of them. Nobody can accuse me of not fully documenting every. single. second of Emily's first Christmas. What made my picture taking even more excessive than it already was was that Denny surprised me on Christmas morning with a Nikon D5000. Do I have the best husband ever, or what? I have barely put that thing down since I got it and I have taken hundreds of pictures in the last week and a half.

And just to brag on Denny a little bit more, he also got me an ornament with Emily's picture on it AND all of the proofs from her Christmas photos. I wanted those so badly and I never even told him! How amazing is he?

Anyway, there are a lot of things that I could say about our Christmases but I will just leave you with a whole lotta pictures and not a whole lot of words. I really don't have time to tell you about every little detail and I seriously doubt that you have time to read all about it. I will say that it was the best Christmas of my life (so far) and having a child at Christmastime is so much fun. I loved seeing Emily ripping the paper off of her presents and playing with all of her many, many (way too many) new toys.

Christmas with Ma, Uncle Lamar and the boys (my stepmother's family)

Christmas with the Fordhams (my Mother-in-Law's family)

Just the three of us

Christmas with my Mom, Scott, Michael and Makayla (also the point where I began using my new camera and the difference is unbelievable)

Christmas with my Dad and Debbie (sadly I don't have very many pictures of this one because I was too busy eating and couldn't stop stuffing my face for 10 minutes. Grrrr.)

Christmas with the Hulseys (Denny's family)

Christmas at my Grandma's (my Mom's mom)

All in all, Christmas was wonderful. We got to see family that we do not often get to see, and we were given more gifts than we needed. Emily had a fabulous first Christmas and even if she was half-naked or only had on one sock in most of the pictures, they are priceless and I wouldn't trade them or those special memories for the world!

Month 10

2010-01-02T13:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Emily,

Unlike last month's letter which was 2 weeks late, this one is being typed early since I actually have time to do it. Right now you are napping in your crib and you are becoming a pro at sleeping - just like me! Seriously, you have become a fabulous sleeper in the past few weeks and I for one could not be happier about this. The crying-it-out that the doctor recommended was a huge success and you are now able to go to sleep all by yourself, in your bed, without crying or fussing at all. It only took 4 nights for you to get with the program; the first night you cried for 25 minutes, then 15 minutes the second night, and only 5 minutes on the third and fourth nights. And no crying since then (well, there have been a few whimpers here and there). You sleep straight through the night for ten to twelve hours, plus you take two naps every day! Hallelujah!

Since you are sleeping more regularly now, I am finally able to put you on a schedule, which I think helps you sleep better too since you know what to expect at all times of the day. We have routines at nap time and bedtime which help you to settle down and get ready for bed, and most of the time you are actually reaching for the crib before I ever lay you down. Every night before bed we do the same exact things, in the same exact order.

First, you get a bath, then we put on your pajamas, I nurse you, and then you eat oatmeal or cereal. Then I brush your teeth and we tell Daddy goodnight. We go in your room and turn on the lamp, and I pick out a few books to read. We sit in the rocking chair and I read to you, and then I turn off the light, turn on your lullabies, and I hold you in my arms as we slow dance to the first song. You put your head on my shoulder and I rub your back and run my fingers through your hair. Then as the song goes off, your head pops up and you begin reaching for the bed, making it a struggle for me to get the last few kisses of the night. This is my absolute favorite part of the day, when I hold you so close and you are so sleepy and so still. It only lasts for a few minutes but it is so sweet that I almost cry. I hope that I never forget these moments.

This month has been a month of milestones for you. Of course, the sleeping is my favorite, since I actually get to sleep now too. But you have finally also learned how to feed yourself. I didn't mention it in last month's letter, but until a few weeks ago you would NOT put any food into your mouth. If you found a piece of trash on the floor, straight into your mouth it would go. But if you were given food to eat, you would just play with it and you never even attempted to put in in your mouth. Dr. Z had never heard of this and we don't know how you knew the difference, but I think you were just being difficult on purpose. You wanted to put things in your mouth that weren't supposed to be there to make me crazy, and you didn't want to feed yourself so that I would have to do it for you. You little stinker - you are so smart!

It all started on December 13th when Daddy gave you a rib bone to gnaw on while we were at Granny's house for lunch.

Then the next day I gave you a graham cracker and you ate it! Ever since then you have been feeding yourself a little bit more every day, and two days ago you ate your goldfish crackers all by yourself for the first time! You still only have those two bottom teeth but somehow you manage to chew everything up.

You are becoming very brave and very excited about standing up without holding on and walking. You try every day to stand up without pulling up on something, and you've done it a few times already. The first time was on the 19th, and ever since then you have managed to do it once or twice a day. You also are getting very good at keeping your balance and you will let go and stand by yourself for a very long time. You took your first step on the 13th and you have taken a lot of steps since then, but never more than one or two at a time. Most of the time either Daddy or I will hold your hands while you stand up and then let go and try to get you to walk. But yesterday was when you really wanted to walk by yourself for the first time. All day long you would stand up, let go of the furniture, and try to take a step. You did it over and over and over again and you took a lot of steps, but you fell down a lot too. One time, you took 8 steps in a row!I have a feeling that by this time next month, you will be walking!

You are beginning to recognize a lot of words in addition to the words that you already can say. You know what I mean when I say diaper, bath, mama, daddy, no-no, uh-oh, dog, hungry, thirsty, cup, juice, kiss, Emily, and bye-bye. When someone tells you hey you now wave hello and when you have something that you shouldn't, I can say "thank you" and reach out my hand and you will hand it to me. You will look around when we ask you "where" something is and if I ask if you want boobies, you will pull on my shirt to try to get to them. You are such a smart girl!

You learned how to clap on the 30th and you are so proud of yourself for doing it! When you see me or Daddy clapping you will clap too, and if someone on tv claps you will clap along with them. You've also learned to associate the word "yay" with clapping. Sometimes you get so excited when you are clapping that you start flapping your arms and you fall down!

Some of your favorite things this month are books, "big girl" baths, pushing things across the floor, and taking things out of drawers. You will crawl into your room and pull your books off of the shelf and look at the pages and point at the pictures. You love books and I hope that one day you will love to read them.

You graduated from the baby bathtub this month and you love taking a bath more now than you did before. You play with your toys until the water is cold and your fingers and toes are all shriveled up. Most of the pictures that I took of you this month were taken in the bathtub or in the highchair because those are the only times that you are still and can't crawl away! Usually when I try to take pictures of you, you climb on me and try to take the camera, but I have learned that if I have a diaper in my hand you will crawl away and let me take a few pictures. You hate having your diaper changed, but I think that is only because you are a busy girl and you hate to be still!

You have a few toys with wheels on them that are made to push, but it really doesn't matter to you. If you find something that will move, you will push it all over the house. Whether it is a shoe, a remote control, or a toy, this keeps you entertained for a long time.

You have learned how to open drawers and cabinet doors and if I don't stop you, you will take everything out and throw it on the floor. We are definitely going to have to put some locks on so that you won't get into anything that can hurt you (or that you can hurt).

You accidentally learned how to drink out of a regular cup when you got my cup off of the table. You held the cup just right and you didn't make a mess at all!

One of your favorite people (besides Mommy and Daddy) is your Aunt Makayla. I think it is because she is a big girl and she is closer to you in size than the rest of us. When you see her your face lights up and you love to play with her. You will follow her everywhere she goes when she is here or when you are at her house.

You also love dogs and you got to pet your Nannie and Pa's dog Lucy when we were at their house a few weeks ago. Then we saw Hershey at the Fordham Christmas and you loved on her a bunch too. I wish that we could get an inside dog for you but Daddy says no to that, but sometimes we let Magnum inside so that you can play with him.

December was also the month of your First Christmas! You met Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus on December 6th at a local antique store.

Then we started celebrating on the 12th at your Nannie and Pa's house with Nannie's family. The next celebration was on the 19th with your Granny Hulsey's family at your Great-Granny Jane and Great-Papa Fordham's house.We went to look at Christmas lights with Granny and Pop on Christmas Eve and we actually got out of the car and got an up-close look at the lights - you loved them! Christmas Day was the busiest day ever, and we had four Christmases that day (more on that later). Then we wrapped up Christmas at your Great-Grandmama's house on the day after Christmas. You were great at opening presents but I think you actually got tired of it. You got so many toys and a lot of it is still in the original boxes, hidden in your closet for you to play with later.

We ended the month by also ending the year. It was your first New Years' Eve and I am so proud to say that you were awake and celebrating with us at midnight! We held you off on your evening nap as long as we could so that you would stay up later on New Years Eve night. But unfortunately for Daddy and I, you didn't sleep any later than usual on New Years' Day.

We had quite a month and I must say, it was one of the best we have had together so far.I am so proud of you and all of your latest accomplishments and I love you very, very much!

Love,
Mommy

Guilty

2009-12-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

Emily absolutely hates to ride in the car. Ok, so she doesn't so much mind the riding, it's being in her carseat that she cannot stand. That girl doesn't wanna sit still for one second.

To make the ride a little less stressful for me, I sing to Emily. Singing calms her down, especially when it is a song that she recognizes. Her favorite song these days is "Jingle Bells", which is the song that the stuffed snowman on our coffee table sings to her about 4 dozen times every day. If I never hear that song again, I assure you, I will be just delighted.

So last week as Emily and I were on the way home from town, she was being her usual ornery self, and so I began to sing to her. Of course I sang Jingle Bells, and also Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

And then it hit me. It hit me hard. Where were all of the songs about Jesus? I found it so easy to sing songs about people and animals that are not even real, but I hadn't thought to sing a song about the one Man for who this holiday even exists: Christ.

Where was my Nativity scene? I hadn't even brought it out of the box to put on display. And the wrapping paper adorned with mentions of the true reason for the season? It was not to be found in our house, but yet we had wrapping paper with reindeer, Christmas trees, and Santa Claus.

I felt so guilty, so ashamed. And I began to, literally, sing a different tune. Our car was then filled with Silent Night, Away in a Manger, and my favorite, O Holy Night. At bedtime that night, I read to Emily the Christmas story from the Bible, a story that I had neglected to read to her before. I had been so busy rushing around buying presents and getting them wrapped and placed under the tree, that I forgot to share with Emily the story of how Christmas came to be.

I hope that I never again forget. Let us never, ever forget..........

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord" Luke 2:11

All I Will Say

2009-12-22T16:23:00.000-05:00

I am a VERY opinionated person. I guess you could also say that I am very judgmental, too. But what sets me apart from others is that most of the time, I keep those opinions to myself. If you read any other blogs besides this one, you have probably seen some not-so-nice comments, usually left by an anonymous person who doesn't want to leave their name for others to see. There have been so many times that I wanted to leave a comment, to tell someone exactly what I think, but I haven't. Oh, if only everyone could do that, this blogging community would be so, so much better.

Recently there has been a lot of drama concerning "mommy" blogs and whether or not many mommy bloggers are qualified to raise their children. Let me say this: nobody is perfect. Not you, and certainly not me. We all make mistakes. We all have our own ways of doing things and we all raise our children in the way that we think is best. What is right for your family might not necessarily be right for mine, and vice-versa. And that's ok.

If you know me, then you know that I fully believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. If it was meant to be, it will be. I know this sounds harsh, but if a child dies, he died because he was supposed to. Whether he fell into a pool and drowned or whether he was breech and his parents decided to go ahead with a homebirth that eventually led to his death, it does not matter. If those things hadn't killed those children, something else would have. There are a million questions buzzing around in my head for those parents.Why wasn't there a gate around the pool or a cover on it? Did he know how to swim? Why couldn't you just go to the hospital just in case there was a complication? And none of the answers matter. Doing things differently wouldn't bring those children back and it wouldn't have saved them in the first place. Would I have done things differently? Heck yes! But my point is, we can't judge those parents for the decisions that they made. Their children are in Heaven not because of any fault of theirs, but because it was simply their time to go.

Accidents do happen, and many times they could have been avoided, but does this mean that we should leave our children unsupervised and leave their safety up to fate? No! We should still keep our children as safe as we possibly can, but we need to realize that we can't protect them from every. little. thing. We need to support each other and stop pointing fingers and pretending that we are perfect parents because our child is still alive and somebody else's child is not. We have to stop leaving rude comments especially at these times when parents are going through their worst nightmares. Let's all just raise our own children, mind our own business, and keep our opinions to ourselves, ok?

Mama Called The Doctor & The Doctor Said......

2009-12-14T13:18:00.001-05:00

I have never been more happy to see a doctor in my whole entire life than I was this past Friday. On the verge of having self-diagnosed postpartum depression because of an ornery baby who would not sleep, I dragged Emily and myself into Dr. Z's office at the bright and early hour of 10:30 in the a.m., a time when we are usually still snoozing under the covers. But I would give up anything to get more sleep, and in this case, I actually gave up sleep to get it. Kinda weird how it worked out, but let me assure you that it did.

But before I get into that, here are Emily's stats. She is 28 inches long, up 3 3/4 inches from 3 months ago, and she weighs 15 pounds, 8.5 ounces. She only gained 1 1/2 pounds in the last 3 months, which has something to do with her sleep issues. But she's not underweight or too skinny. She grew in those 3 months, she just grew longer instead of heavier.

Apparently, I am starving my child. There is no reason why a 9 month old should not be able to sleep through the night, for at least 10 straight hours. Except that Emily does have a reason to wake up every 3 hours at night, and that's because she is hungry. I thought she was just being a pain in my rear. She doesn't eat very much solid food during the day and I assumed it was because she just wasn't hungry. But no, she is very much hungry and she just doesn't like baby food. She is now on a strict diet of table food and the yogurt and oatmeal that she will eat and does eat well. And since she wasn't getting enough food during the day to sustain her at night, she was waking up to nurse.

Another reason she was waking up (on days when she did eat a lot and wasn't hungry) was because she knew I would come running the moment I heard her cries. Oh, she had me trained. She had me trained good. Dr. Z said that I had to break her from that or she would just continue to do it and I really don't want to be up every 3 hours at night with a 5 year old. It had to stop at some point and that time is NOW. She suggested that I let her Cry It Out (CIO) and that she might cry for 2 hours before giving up and going to sleep on the first night we did it. And even though we have tried that before with no chance of it working, we tried again. We made sure that she ate just as much as her little tummy could hold yesterday, and at midnight (yes, midnight. We are night owls around here) I put her in her crib. She did not cry for 2 hours. Nope, not even close to that. She cried for 25 minutes. And do you wanna know how long she slept before waking up?

10 hours. She slept for 10 hours! 10 straight hours without so much as a peep out of her. And now that I have bragged on her she will probably not do that again for a month or two. But all joking aside, I did it again today at naptime. I put her in her crib for a nap and she began crying instantly. I took a shower so that I wouldn't have to hear her crying (it kills me. That's why she is so spoiled because I NEVER let her cry.) and she was asleep when I got out. She cried for less than 10 minutes this time and she's been asleep for over an hour already. It's working!

I am also going to start a bedtime routine so that Emily will recognize that every night before bed, Emily will recognize what we are doing and she can settle down and mentally prepare for bed. I have read a lot about that and I am hoping that it helps her to cry for shorter periods of time, or even better, maybe she will eventually not cry at all.

I also talked to Dr. Z about giving Emily formula so that I could get a break from her (and give her a break from me) for a few hours, a few times a week, and she could not believe that I never leave this child for more than 3 hours at a time. I really can't believe it either, but it's true. She not only encouraged me to take a break, she also gave me 2 cans of formula to use. I am sure that 1 will be plenty enough but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth so I gladly took it and now I am struggling with the guilt that I am actually considering giving Emily powdered, fake, disgusting-tasting milk. Oh well. We are going to give it a shot.

And so now we will all live happily ever after. I will not be depressed and sleep-deprived, Emily will get to stay at other people's houses (possibly overnight for the first time!) and she will also not be spoiled anymore, and everything is just going to be fabulous and perfect and wonderful forever and ever!

And no, I'm not at all delusional. I just have faith.

Month 9

2009-12-14T12:49:00.000-05:00

My Emily,

It is 12 days after your 9 month "birthday" and I am just now finding the time to write this letter to you. November was the hardest, most trying month for me as a mother. It's not your fault that you are so difficult; the blame is entirely mine. You are completely spoiled rotten and it is I who has spoiled you. But the good news is that we are changing things and we are going to get along so, so much better from now on.

When you sleep in the big bed with Daddy and I, you will scoot all the way to the top of the bed until your head is touching the headboard. You do NOT want to be covered up and you try to get as far away from the covers as you possibly can. You also love to snuggle with Daddy because he sleeps without a shirt on and his skin in so warm and cuddly.

I know I've talked about your sleep issues before so I'm not going to go into detail again this month. But I will say that the napping in my arms and the not sleeping through the night are things that have caused my patience to wear extremely thin most days, and by the time I write next month's letter, you will be as good of a sleeper as any 10 month old should be!

Aside from your dislike of sleeping for more than 3 hours at a time, your only other complaint is baby food. You just will not eat the stuff, and I can't say that I blame you. I had been making all of your food but we switched to jarred food and you hate it. However, you do like your yogurt and oatmeal and you love to eat the food on mine and Daddy's plates. You are such a little beggar every time you see either of us with food! And so far, we haven't found any table food that you don't like.

And instead of turning your head away from the spoon or just simply keeping your mouth closed to let me know that you are finished eating, you fling your arms wildly and get food EVERYWHERE. Like this.

Your favorite thing to do (and mine too) is to give hugs and kisses. You are such a loving soul and you give Daddy and I squeezes and tons of kisses every day. Every afternoon when Daddy walks in the door from work, he picks you up and you wrap your arms around his neck as tight as you can - it is the most precious thing I have ever seen! You also love to give kisses to your Glow Worm, your baby doll that your Granny gave to you, and any other toy of yours that has a mouth! I hope you stay this cuddly and sweet forever.

In November you celebrated your first Thanksgiving and you loved eating all of the yummy food. You met a few relatives that you had never seen before and although you slept through most of it, you had a great time with your Pop's family.

At this point, you say mama, dada, bye-bye, dog, and uh-oh, even though most of the time it is just "uh". You wave bye-bye when nobody is going anywhere and most of the time when someone actually is leaving, you won't wave or say bye-bye at all. You crack Daddy and I up since you are such a silly girl all of the time. You blow bubbles with your mouth when you are sleepy and you play peek-a-boo with Daddy's belly. We have "screaming" matches with each other to see who can be the loudest and who can hold out for the longest time. You dance to the snowman on our coffee table that sings "Jingle Bells" and you love music. You won't be still long enough to watch tv at all anymore unless Yo Gabba Gabba is on.

You continue to cruise along the furniture and pull up on everything that you can get a grip on. You are a great crawler and you can crawl faster than I can. You always crawl away in the middle of diaper changes and I have to chase you down to get your diaper on. You follow Daddy and I everywhere we go and you are very curious about everything. You love to explore and check things out and you are into everything. I cannot take a shower unless you are taking a nap because you either crawl right into the shower with me or you get into something that you shouldn't every. single. time.

You are growing up so fast and I know that you will be walking so very, very soon. You will be a toddler, a big girl, and as much as I will miss these days when you are still my baby, in a way I will be glad to welcome a new stage in your life. I love you baby girl, even on the bad days when I am not the best mommy that I can be. I hope that someday you will get the chance to love someone as much as I love you.

Love,

Mommy

Barely Hanging On

2009-12-09T00:20:00.000-05:00

If there is anyone out there who still reads this pitiful blog, I'm sure that you have noticed that I am not blogging much anymore. I am almost a week late in getting Emily's monthly letter posted (again) and to be honest, I'm really not concerned about it. It will get typed someday, but not today. I'm just not feeling it.

I can't blog when Denny is at work unless Emily is asleep. The second I sit down at the computer she wants to be in my lap, punching at the keys with me and grabbing every. single. thing. that is on top of the desk. When Emily is asleep, there are so many things that I need and want to do, and blogging is just not on top of that list. I'd rather just nap right along with her or hang out on the couch doing absolutely nothing. Plus, she is such a light sleeper that tapping the keys would wake her up, even though she is in another room. And believe me when I say that I do not do anything to sabotage her naps.

Sleep is very precious and hard to come by these days. Emily insists on staying up past midnight every night and it is in the wee hours of the morning that I get time to myself. Once I am finally in the bed I find it hard to fall asleep and I toss and turn for what feels like hours. I can't settle myself down because I am constantly thinking that as soon as I fall asleep, she will wake up and cry for me to come and get her. Even though she is 9 months old and fully capable of sleeping through the night, she doesn't. And she hasn't since she was 2 months old. She wakes at least twice every night to eat and once she wakes the first time, it is impossible to get her to sleep in her crib any longer. I try to put her down but she wakes up as soon as her body touches the mattress.

These sleep issues are a major problem for me right now. This morning she got up at 9:00 a.m. (not by her choice, I woke her up) which is several hours earlier than normal. I thought that since she got up so early that she would go to bed early, but that is not happening. Actually, she went to sleep around 10:00 and she woke up when I put her in her crib. It is after midnight and she is currently playing on the living room floor. I cannot even begin to describe how distraught I was when she woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep. I cried. I thought things I should not be thinking. I wanted to hit something (not her). I wanted to go outside and scream. I wanted to leave and not come back until I got the call that she was asleep in her bed. I wanted the responsibility of putting her to bed to be lifted from my shoulders for just one night. I just wanted her to go to sleep.

That distraught feeling has been creeping up so regularly lately that it is becoming normal for me. I feel like I am barely hanging on for most hours of the day and I don't know how to make it better. I constantly struggle with guilt - I feel like it is my fault that she is the way she is, but in the back of my mind, I know that she is just a baby and her sleep issues and separation anxiety are normal and not nearly as bad as they could be. All of those feelings piled on top of one another, along with the sleep deprivation, are slowly pushing me over the edge.

I thought that postpartum depression was something that happened in the weeks after having a baby, but I googled it tonight and I am feeling a little relieved that only about half of the symptoms describe the way I have been feeling. I am also scared to death because half of the symptoms describe me precisely. I am not happy. I do not find joy in being a mother at this point in Emily's life. I have been joyful in the past, but right now, I feel more burdened by her than I feel blessed by her. It is so hard to admit that last sentence, but it is the truth. And it's not just the sleep issues. It is so much more.

It's the being with her 24/7 and rarely getting a break. It's the help that I rarely receive from my husband. It's the pooping right after she has had a bath and is in her "bedtime" diaper. It is the whining. It's the wanting to be held all of the time, especially when she is sleeping, which leaves me with NO free time some days. It's the lack of a social life. It's the struggling to make ends meet because I no longer bring in a paycheck. It's just so many things that make me dread tomorrow instead of looking forward to another day.

I never, ever thought I would do this, but I am going to give Emily formula. Shocking, huh? This does not mean that I am weaning her, which is good, because she is so attached to these bosoms that it would be stupid and pointless to even try. What it does mean, is that even if it's only for one day a week, I am going to have some time to myself without having to rush back before her next feeding. I am no longer able to get any milk out with my breast pump and because of that I can never be away from her for more than three hours at a time. I don't want to have to do that, but a few bottles a week is not going to kill her. I have breastfed for a lot longer than many women breastfeed their babies and I am proud that I have gotten this far without having to supplement. It's for my sanity's sake. It is better to give her formula than to *literally* lose my mind and have to take medication to feel better. It is better to give her formula than to risk losing my cool and hitting her instead of hitting the wall (or the door or my head).

I might spend my free time going back to work as a substitute teacher to give myself something to do and to also feel less worthless. Or I might hang out in the library and read books and magazines. I might window shop and look at pretty things. Or I might try to fix the sewing machine and make some pretty things. Whatever I do, I must do it for me, and also for Emily. I could not ever imagine my life without her, but by no means do I need to be right beside her every second of every day. It's just not working out.

Emily Meets Santa

2009-12-05T20:22:00.000-05:00

Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus were at a local antique store this evening, so we ventured out to take Emily to meet them for the first time. I was so afraid that Emily would be scared of Santa, because he is a man, and Emily generally does not like any unfamiliar men. But she surprised the heck out of me and did a fabulous job! She wasn't exactly excited about Santa Claus, and she really wasn't even all that interested in him, but she loved playing with Mrs. Claus' bracelet!

Maybe next year she will look at the camera!

Show Us Your Life: Christmas Trees

2009-12-04T16:38:00.001-05:00

After taking a break for a few weeks, I'm finally doing Kelly's "Show Us Your Life" again! This week is one of my favorites - it is all about Christmas trees! We've had our big tree up since before Thanksgiving, but I just got Emily's tree up last night and it's not even finished. I want to get some pink and green ornaments to go on it to match her room but I will probably wait until after Christmas to get some. She will never know the difference! Here is what Emily's tree looks like................

I tried to get a picture of it with the lights off but it is a fiber optic tree and it's not very bright. This is as good of a picture as I could get.

And here is the big tree in our living room. We usually have a real tree but we decided it would be much cheaper to get a fake one, so I got this one last year after Christmas for 75% off!

I'm still not 100% finished with it yet, and I never will be. I am constantly adding ornaments to it when I see a bare spot, and I am always changing things around to try and make it look perfect. I am just too OCD to leave it alone! I can't wait to sit around this tree on Christmas morning and watch Emily open her first Christmas presents!

A Christmas Craft

2009-12-03T18:26:00.000-05:00

I want so badly to be crafty, I really do. I wish that I was creative and could come up with things to make on my own, and have the talent to actually make them, but I just don't possess either of those qualities. I do, however, know how to use a computer and a pair of scissors. So I made this:

Using frames that I already had and some Christmas scrapbook paper from Hobby Lobby, I made this cute little decoration! It only took about 5 minutes to make and it only cost me 63 cents! These look good staggered like I have them, but I think they would look better side by side on top of a shelf. Too bad I don't have a shelf to put them on.

So I guess I can be crafty, as long as I stick to things that just cannot be ruined. Next, I'm going to attempt to make one of those ornament wreaths that have been all over the craft blogs this Christmas season. Just as soon as I can get my hands on a wire hanger.....

Catching Up

2009-11-30T15:20:00.000-05:00

We have been so busy it seems, busy doing nothing at all.

Every day is the same for me. I take care of Emily all day, I try to keep the house looking somewhat clean, and I usually manage to take a shower at some point. Having a baby who is mobile is a lot of work. And it's my job.

I haven't felt like blogging lately. I don't feel like I have anything that is interesting to write. Emily is now letting go of the furniture in an attempt to stand up all on her own. She is getting better every day, standing for more and more seconds each time. She even took a step from the coffee table to the couch without holding on to either one. Walking is getting closer each day.

She is also becoming very, very funny. Last night she played peek-a-boo with her Pop by squatting down and then popping up between his knees as he sat in his recliner and she stood at his feet. The top of our coffee table lifts up to dining table height, and this is where Denny and I eat our dinner. A few nights ago, Emily reached up to hold on to the edge of the table, lifted her feet off the ground and began swinging. She won't keep her socks on for more than a minute, so unless we are leaving the house I don't even bother with putting them on. Her favorite thing to with her socks is to put them in her mouth and bite down while trying to pull them out. She sometimes pulls so hard that she pulls herself over.

She's very vocal too. She talks and squeals all the time. She can say mama and dada and bye-bye and dog. She waves bye-bye and hides her face when someone says hello. She tries to act like she's shy but it's just a bluff. She flirts with everyone, especially her daddy. Oh, how she loves her daddy.

Right now we are dealing with some separation anxiety. She wants mama and daddy and very few other people. Nobody else if Denny or myself are around. She falls asleep in my arms at night and I put her in her crib. She stays there for a few hours and then she sleeps between us for the rest of the night. She is a better bed mate than she used to be. Instead of sleeping sideways and forcing me to sleep on the edge of the bed, she now snuggles up right next to Denny, who sleeps with no shirt and is incredibly warm and cozy.

We took Emily to get her Christmas pictures taken. It's her first Christmas. It's my first Christmas as a mother and it is so much different than it has ever been before. I want for nothing, because I already have all that I need.

Thanksgiving was very low-key for us this year. We went to Denny's parents' house to spend the day with his Dad's side of the family. Emily fell asleep 20 minutes before we needed to be there and she and I stayed home so she could get her nap and by the time we got there we missed seeing half of the family. I would have gone when Denny went but it's just right across the street and naps are very important to be had.

The 3 of us went shopping on Black Friday but we didn't head out as early as we had in the past. We didn't camp out in the car and we didn't set any alarm clocks. We woke up on our own and although we missed a few of the sales, we also missed a lot of the crowds. Denny got a gun and some pants. Emily got more clothes that she didn't need but I couldn't resist the cuteness. Like I've said before, she might be the only baby that I ever have, or she might be the only daughter that I ever have, so I might as well live it up. Have you seen the clothes that are made for boys? The majority of them are NOT CUTE. I must get all of the cuteness I can while it lasts.

We got some throw pillows for the living room that we had been eyeing for a few years. We first saw them at Target for $20 each. We waited for the price to drop but it never did. Then we found pillows made of the same fabric at Walmart for $15 a piece. We still refused to pay that much and our thriftiness paid off. We finally got the pillows we wanted at Stein Mart for $5 each. That's 4 for the price of 1.

Right now Emily is napping on the couch. She has a low grade fever and she is feeling bad today. I don't know if it's her third tooth coming in or if she's getting the cold that Denny has had for the past few days. I hope it's just a tooth.

The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways

2009-11-18T18:08:00.000-05:00

We've been praying for months that Emily would be healed and not need surgery to remove the branchial cleft cyst in her neck. We were under the impression that she would need surgery shortly after her 1st birthday, since then she would be big enough to be anesthetized. The cyst isn't harmful to her at all, but it does have to be removed eventually since it will be problematic if and when Emily gets any kind of infection.

We had a follow-up appointment with her ENT yesterday (whom I love, by the way. He spent most of the time playing peek-a-boo with her. If you are in the Savannah area and ever need an ENT (but I hope you don't!) go see Dr. Poole) and the news I got was great, but not exactly what I expected to hear. He told us that he didn't need to see Emily again until she is 2 years old! So she will NOT be having surgery in a few months! I am thrilled about this since it gives me a lot more time to pray for healing. Maybe God doesn't like to be rushed. Who knows?

All I know is that I am so glad that my baby will not be having surgery just yet. Thank the Lord!