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I feel like such a bad person, when the truth is I'm just a bad blogger. And I don't like that about myself. I like blogging, and I wish I did it more. 

I feel like I have failed at it, and by failing at blogging, I have failed at saving the memories of Emily's first year. I am horrible at writing things in her baby book, and I had intended for this blog to be the place where all of her firsts would be remembered forever. But sadly, there are a lot of things that have gotten left out.

On Twitter yesterday, someone said (and I'm sorry that I don't remember who it was; I wish I did so I could give them credit) that blogging is like exercise; the longer you go without doing it, the harder it is to start back. And it is so, so true for me. It's been so long that I don't even know how or where to start. But I'm gonna try.

Confessions

I don't even know why I am telling you all this, since it is kind of a personal, secretive kind of thing, but the truth is, we are already thinking about baby #2. That doesn't in any way at all mean that we are trying for baby #2 because we most definitely are NOT, but I'm a planner, and I am planning ahead. Way ahead.

I'm also a daydreamer. When I lie awake at night, or in the mornings after Emily has drifted back off to sleep, I like to think about the future. I know that I can't control and plan every little detail of my life, but in my dreams I can do whatever I want. And what I want is more babies. Someday. 

I've always dreamed of having four children. I definitely don't want three, because then we would have a middle child and middle child syndrome is a seriously nasty problem that I do not want to deal with any more than I already have to. My brother is a middle child and whoa! It is out. of. control. Denny agrees with me on the middle child thing, since he is a middle child too and he's got a bad case of it, but his solution to the problem is to only have two children. And that? Just does not work for me. 


I am so excited about having another baby, but I'm nervous about it too. If the next baby is another girl, then it should be no problem convincing Denny to go ahead and have another (and another). We both want a boy so badly and I am willing to keep trying until we have a son. But if the next one is a boy, it is going to be nearly impossible to get Denny to agree to a third child. 

Plus, there are always so many opinions from other people that we are given (without asking for them) and the majority opinion seems to be that once a couple has a girl and a boy, then they are done. The family is complete, end of story, your baby making years are over. And sometimes that is the opinion even if both children are the same sex. Two seems to be the limit for most people and they can't seem to understand why on earth  anybody would want more than two children, even if they have more than two themselves. In my mind, having one boy and one girl does not mean that my family is complete. It just means that we are getting warmed up! I read on another blog somewhere about a family who has four daughters, they have adopted one son, and they are planning to adopt at least one more. The mom says that everywhere she goes people comment on how she has her hands full. And the part that I absolutely love about all of this is that she comments right back that her hands are not as full as her heart. Isn't that beautiful?


Maybe people should just mind their own business. Maybe I should just quit blogging about anything other than Emily and what she does because I get way off track and I get heated up about silly things like other people's opinions and I just wish that I could pack up all of our things and move to Texas. Yes, Texas. That is where we'd go if we ever move away. 


And now I've got to go and change Emily's diaper because she decided that right now is the best time to come and stand right beside me and sling out a poop and Oh my God we are such back woods hillbillies we need to get with the times and get ourselves some disposable diapers because cloth diapers are so disgusting and hard to use blah blah blah.

New Year, New Me

Yeah, I know I'm 3 days late with this, but better late than never, right? I've decided to put my resolutions out there for all to see, so that hopefully I will follow through with them. All of them. Hold me accountable, ok?

This is the first time I have ever made any resolutions, and I think they are very much do-able. Here they are:

1. Exercise at least 4 times every week. Since we have a Wii Fit now, (which is awesome and I am already addicted to it) I have no excuse not to work out!
2. Eat 1 serving of fruit every day.
3. Pray every day.
4. Read my Bible every day.
5. Make nighttime prayers a part of Emily's bedtime routine and begin saying the blessing before every meal.
6. Make it to church every Sunday.
7. Be a better wife to Denny.
8. Spend more quality time with Emily. I am here with her every day, but I am not always with her.
9. Learn how to use the Manual setting on my camera.
10. Take pictures every day.
11. Be a better blogger. I enjoy blogging and I need to make time to do it more often.
    

So, what do you think? I'd say those are all very easy things to do and I should have no problem doing them all year long. I'll let you know how things are going in a few weeks!

All I Will Say

I am a VERY opinionated person. I guess you could also say that I am very judgmental, too. But what sets me apart from others is that most of the time, I keep those opinions to myself. If you read any other blogs besides this one, you have probably seen some not-so-nice comments, usually left by an anonymous person who doesn't want to leave their name for others to see. There have been so many times that I wanted to leave a comment, to tell someone exactly what I think, but I haven't. Oh, if only everyone could do that, this blogging community would be so, so much better.

Recently there has been a lot of drama concerning "mommy" blogs and whether or not many mommy bloggers are qualified to raise their children. Let me say this: nobody is perfect. Not you, and certainly not me. We all make mistakes. We all have our own ways of doing things and we all raise our children in the way that we think is best. What is right for your family might not necessarily be right for mine, and vice-versa. And that's ok.

If you know me, then you know that I fully believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. If it was meant to be, it will be. I know this sounds harsh, but if a child dies, he died because he was supposed to. Whether he fell into a pool and drowned or whether he was breech and his parents decided to go ahead with a homebirth that eventually led to his death, it does not matter. If those things hadn't killed those children, something else would have. There are a million questions buzzing around in my head for those parents.Why wasn't there a gate around the pool or a cover on it? Did he know how to swim? Why couldn't you just go to the hospital just in case there was a complication? And none of the answers matter. Doing things differently wouldn't bring those children back and it wouldn't have saved them in the first place. Would I have done things differently? Heck yes! But my point is, we can't judge those parents for the decisions that they made. Their children are in Heaven not because of any fault of theirs, but because it was simply their time to go.

Accidents do happen, and many times they could have been avoided, but does this mean that we should leave our children unsupervised and leave their safety up to fate? No! We should still keep our children as safe as we possibly can, but we need to realize that we can't protect them from every. little. thing.  We need to support each other and stop pointing fingers and pretending that we are perfect parents because our child is still alive and somebody else's child is not. We have to stop leaving rude comments especially at these times when parents are going through their worst nightmares. Let's all just raise our own children, mind our own business, and keep our opinions to ourselves, ok?

Work At Home Mommy

I think I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing - staying at home with Emily. I've figured out the only reason that I want to work is so that I can have some extra money, but then i realize that money can't buy happiness, so if that's all I'm working for, it's really not worth it. If I'm going to work, it should be because I love doing that particular job. And there is no job in this whole entire universe that I would love to do more than what I'm currently doing. (Ok, so I can think of a few jobs I'd love to have, but Lord knows I'm never gonna get them.)

My mom, because she is my mom and she thinks I'm great when I am really not great, found a perfect job for me. A blogging job. A blogging job that I can do here at home. A blogging job that I can do here at home and make major money doing it. I think I like the sound of that. It's just about as close to perfect as I think a job can be. The problem is, I need votes to get this job. Lots of votes. The current leader has 2811 votes. I have 8. 

You have until October 30th to help make me a winner, and you can vote once a day. So go vote here! Please. Pretty please. Pretty please with a cherry on top. And whipped cream!

Welcome Home

Welcome to my new site! I will hopefully be here from now until the end of eternity (or until I quit blogging, which will probably be never). If you haven't done so already, change your link to my blog and/or update your reader so that you can keep up with everything that is going on with Emily, Denny and I. I hope to eventually transfer all of my posts from wordpress to here, so that you can easily find anything and everything that you are looking for. I hope you like it here!


Ahhh. It feels so nice to be home.