Lately I have been feeling like my life is like a one thousand piece puzzle. It's so hard for me to get all of the pieces to connect and sometimes I just have to step away for a while, but in the end I come back to it with a fresh perspective and all of the pieces eventually come together. My biggest struggle is trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I thought I had it all figured out, but as you can tell from my last post, I clearly do not.
Being a mother is a full-time job, and the most important job that I will ever have. I love being a mom, but at the end of the day, after that is all that I have done, I just don't feel accomplished. I feel like something is missing from my life and while I do not in any way want a "normal" job, I want to do something.
And so, I have this dream of something that I want to do. I love it more than teaching, but teaching I know I can do. I love it more than the idea of nursing, and nursing I know that I can't do. It's something that I already do every single day but for some reason I just fail to see that I am good at it. Deep, deep down, I know that I am good at it. I know that I have a talent. I am just afraid to admit it to myself or to anyone else because I am afraid. I am afraid of failing.
I want to be a photographer.
There, it's out. I said it. Now you know.
I just don't know how to turn that dream into a reality.
I've spent a lot of time lately looking at other photographers' work. I've been comparing what I do to what they do and honestly? I can do this. I can do this well. I just have to remind myself that I can.
I can. I can do this.
"Anyone can take a picture, but it takes someone special to capture a moment."
I made that up. Just now, in my head. It's ok, you can be impressed. I certainly am.