The Puzzle

Lately I have been feeling like my life is like a one thousand piece puzzle. It's so hard for me to get all of the pieces to connect and sometimes I just have to step away for a while, but in the end I come back to it with a fresh perspective and all of the pieces eventually come together. My biggest struggle is trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I thought I had it all figured out, but as you can tell from my last post, I clearly do not. 

Being a mother is a full-time job, and the most important job that I will ever have. I love being a mom, but at the end of the day, after that is all that I have done, I just don't feel accomplished. I feel like something is missing from my life and while I do not in any way want a "normal" job, I want to do something. 

And so, I have this dream of something that I want to do. I love it more than teaching, but teaching I know I can do. I love it more than the idea of nursing, and nursing I know that I can't do. It's something that I already do every single day but for some reason I just fail to see that I am good at it. Deep, deep down, I know that I am good at it. I know that I have a talent. I am just afraid to admit it to myself or to anyone else because I am afraid. I am afraid of failing. 

I want to be a photographer. 

There, it's out. I said it. Now you know. 

I just don't know how to turn that dream into a reality.

I've spent a lot of time lately looking at other photographers' work. I've been comparing what I do to what they do and honestly? I can do this. I can do this well. I just have to remind myself that I can. 

I can. I can do this. 

"Anyone can take a picture, but it takes someone special to capture a moment." 

I made that up. Just now, in my head. It's ok, you can be impressed. I certainly am.


Lauren said...
March 16, 2010 at 8:06 AM

Your macro-photography is great! There is alot of potential there for you to be great... Maybe you could find someone that needs an apprentice... get some hours behind the camera. I've done a photo-tour of Savannah and the guy was quirky but taught me a lot about camera and composition (not that I remember it all now). Pioneer woman also has a great photography section for refreshers. Put your services out there on craigslist - you never know who will bite!

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christy said...
March 29, 2010 at 2:03 PM

Go for Megan! You are so talented - with photography and mommyhood and teaching. Follow your dreams...they won't lead you astray. I admire you so much!

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