Catching Up

We have been so busy it seems, busy doing nothing at all.

Every day is the same for me. I take care of Emily all day, I try to keep the house looking somewhat clean, and I usually manage to take a shower at some point. Having a baby who is mobile is a lot of work. And it's my job.

I haven't felt like blogging lately. I don't feel like I have anything that is interesting to write. Emily is now letting go of the furniture in an attempt to stand up all on her own. She is getting better every day, standing for more and more seconds each time. She even took a step from the coffee table to the couch without holding on to either one. Walking is getting closer each day.

She is also becoming very, very funny. Last night she played peek-a-boo with her Pop by squatting down and then popping up between his knees as he sat in his recliner and she stood at his feet. The top of our coffee table lifts up to dining table height, and this is where Denny and I eat our dinner. A few nights ago, Emily reached up to hold on to the edge of the table, lifted her feet off the ground and began swinging. She won't keep her socks on for more than a minute, so unless we are leaving the house I don't even bother with putting them on. Her favorite thing to with her socks is to put them in her mouth and bite down while trying to pull them out. She sometimes pulls so hard that she pulls herself over.

She's very vocal too. She talks and squeals all the time. She can say mama and dada and bye-bye and dog. She waves bye-bye and hides her face when someone says hello. She tries to act like she's shy but it's just a bluff. She flirts with everyone, especially her daddy. Oh, how she loves her daddy.

Right now we are dealing with some separation anxiety. She wants mama and daddy and very few other people. Nobody else if Denny or myself are around. She falls asleep in my arms at night and I put her in her crib. She stays there for a few hours and then she sleeps between us for the rest of the night. She is a better bed mate than she used to be. Instead of sleeping sideways and forcing me to sleep on the edge of the bed, she now snuggles up right next to Denny, who sleeps with no shirt and is incredibly warm and cozy.

We took Emily to get her Christmas pictures taken. It's her first Christmas. It's my first Christmas as a mother and it is so much different than it has ever been before. I want for nothing, because I already have all that I need.

Thanksgiving was very low-key for us this year. We went to Denny's parents' house to spend the day with his Dad's side of the family. Emily fell asleep 20 minutes before we needed to be there and she and I stayed home so she could get her nap and by the time we got there we missed seeing half of the family. I would have gone when Denny went but it's just right across the street and naps are very important to be had.

The 3 of us went shopping on Black Friday but we didn't head out as early as we had in the past. We didn't camp out in the car and we didn't set any alarm clocks. We woke up on our own and although we missed a few of the sales, we also missed a lot of the crowds. Denny got a gun and some pants. Emily got more clothes that she didn't need but I couldn't resist the cuteness. Like I've said before, she might be the only baby that I ever have, or she might be the only daughter that I ever have, so I might as well live it up. Have you seen the clothes that are made for boys? The majority of them are NOT CUTE. I must get all of the cuteness I can while it lasts.

We got some throw pillows for the living room that we had been eyeing for a few years. We first saw them at Target for $20 each. We waited for the price to drop but it never did. Then we found pillows made of the same fabric at Walmart for $15 a piece. We still refused to pay that much and our thriftiness paid off. We finally got the pillows we wanted at Stein Mart for $5 each. That's 4 for the price of 1.

Right now Emily is napping on the couch. She has a low grade fever and she is feeling bad today. I don't know if it's her third tooth coming in or if she's getting the cold that Denny has had for the past few days. I hope it's just a tooth.

The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways

We've been praying for months that Emily would be healed and not need surgery to remove the branchial cleft cyst in her neck. We were under the impression that she would need surgery shortly after her 1st birthday, since then she would be big enough to be anesthetized. The cyst isn't harmful to her at all, but it does have to be removed eventually since it will be problematic if and when Emily gets any kind of infection.

We had a follow-up appointment with her ENT yesterday (whom I love, by the way. He spent most of the time playing peek-a-boo with her. If you are in the Savannah area and ever need an ENT (but I hope you don't!) go see Dr. Poole) and the news I got was great, but not exactly what I expected to hear. He told us that he didn't need to see Emily again until she is 2 years old! So she will NOT be having surgery in a few months! I am thrilled about this since it gives me a lot more time to pray for healing. Maybe God doesn't like to be rushed. Who knows?

All I know is that I am so glad that my baby will not be having surgery just yet. Thank the Lord!

I Miss It

I miss being pregnant. (Ok, so I don't miss being 9 months pregnant and miserable and the aching back and the constant peeing. I don't miss being told how stupid I was for not having Emily at the hospital and I don't miss being told that I couldn't give birth without an epidural.)

But I miss feeling the little flutters and kicks inside of me. I miss the big belly and the glow and the miracle of it all. I miss my midwives and my birth center group and the check-ups. I miss hearing her heartbeat while she was floating safely inside of me. I miss the excitement and the planning and the nesting and the weekly fruit-size comparisons in my inbox.

I miss those first few days when Emily was a newborn and we would lay in bed together all day long. I miss those tiny newborn outfits and that cuddly baby all swaddled in blankets and nestled in my arms. I miss the 45 minute feedings and wish sometimes that Emily would nurse for more than 10 minutes so that I could hold her just a little bit longer.

I miss the meals that were brought to us. I miss Denny being home with Emily and I for those first few days. I miss how helpful he was with changing diapers back then. I miss it all.

I was sitting in Emily's closet last night with all of those thoughts running through my head. I was putting away her summer clothes - something that I have been dreading and putting off for weeks - and my mind totally got lost in the sadness of it all. She will never wear those clothes again. By next summer, she will not be my baby anymore. She will be my toddler. She might not be nursing then. She will be eating big girl food and she will be walking and talking.

And if I never have another baby girl, I will never get to dress another baby in those clothes.

But for right now, Emily is my baby girl. My teething baby girl who will not sleep in her crib but will only sleep in between Mommy and Daddy. She's my shadow who follows me everywhere I go (even into the shower).

And that's ok. I can sleep when she's a teenager. And I can change her clothes if they get wet. Because one day, she will be a teenager, and I won't be able to hold her or sleep with her or take baths with her anymore.

Makeshift Baby Gate

I finally finished painting the kitchen after putting it off for 3 months and when you paint a kitchen, there is a lot of stuff that has to be moved. Like canisters and toasters and every. single. thing. that lives on the counter tops. Then there are all of the appliances that have to be moved and painted behind, and I don't know how it is in your house, but at our house, we don't move our appliances very often ever to clean the floor underneath them. So you can just imagine what the floor looked like underneath our fridge. There were oodles of dust bunnies plus a huge sticky spot from the Rotten Watermelon Accident of '09. We had to come up with a way to keep Emily from crawling into the kitchen (this wouldn't have been a problem if we'd painted, um, 3 months ago) and since we do not have in our possession a baby gate, Denny rigged up this little contraption.

We like to keep it classy, y'all.

What I Really Want To Know

Emily,

I feel like a zombie this morning. Literally, like I am dead on my feet. I don't know why, but for the last week or so you just refuse to sleep. Every night after I put you to bed I stay up for a few hours so I can have some time for myself, and you are already awake before I go to bed. I know you're not waking up because you are hungry because most nights it's only been an hour or two since you've eaten. So what is it? What is keeping you up all night?

Last night was the worst of all. I put you to bed at 11:00, your normal time, and you were up at 12:00. Thirty minutes later you were asleep again, but you woke up again at 1:30, just as I had finally drifted off. I am having so much trouble falling asleep because I know that as soon as I do, your cries will come through the monitor and wake me.

I got so frustrated with you last night that I let you cry it out in your room for 30 minutes, which is very unusual for me, but I was beyond tired. Needless to say, it didn't work and you stayed awake for almost an hour after Daddy and I went in to get you. You finally went to sleep around 4:00.

So how are you awake right now? How? Only after having 7 hours of sleep, and they weren't even continuous? Plus, you had only one short nap yesterday. I just don't get it. Why won't you go to sleep?

Last night as I laid there in the bed with you beside me, crawling all over me and pulling my hair, I seriously contemplated driving to Walmart to buy some Benadryl to knock you out with (please don't be calling DFCS over here, I didn't do it, I never really would anyway, but it was 3:30 in the am and I was desperate and if I didn't get some sleep I was going to kill myself and then who would take care of her?).

I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take, and Daddy is pretty frustrated too, being he had to get up and go to work this morning. I need some answers. And some sleep. Is this just a phase? Do all babies go through this at some point? Because you are capable of sleeping through the night and you used to do that and I just want to know why you won't sleep.

I'm emailing Dr. Z about this. And I'm sending you to stay with somebody else today so at least one of us can get some sleep. You non-sleeper you.

Month 8

Emily,

October has come and gone and I'm so sad to see it go. It was one of the best months we've had together so far. We did so many fun things this past month and as you are getting older it's so amazing for me just to see how you react to the different things that we see and do.


Your little personality is really starting to show. You have always been impatient and now you are starting to have an attitude, so you have temper tantrums and fits several times a day now. Most often this is when I am dressing you and/or changing your diaper. You are a busy girl and you don't want to be still, not even for a minute, so I have to hold you down to get your diaper back on and chase you around the house to get you dressed. You know exactly what you want and you are not afraid to let anybody know. I don't know ow you learned to act that way, but it sure is hilarious to see you squeal and kick and swing your arms when you are mad.


This past month we have stayed home most days because you really do not like to be away from home and you really, really do not like to be in the car unless someone is in the backseat with you. It is just way too stressful for me to take you anywhere so most of the times that we went out it was because somebody else went with us. However, you still love to be outside and on days like today when the weather is nice we sit outside and play with the dogs and we go for very long rides on the golf cart.   


There were a few places that we did go last month, like the Savannah Civic Center to see Playhouse Disney Live, the Statesboro fair, the pumpkin patch, and to the Halloween street festival. There we saw lots of people dancing in the street to Michael Jackson's song "Thriller" and we saw your cousins Haley, Beatrice and Whitaker. 


In all of our time spent at home you have mostly played all by yourself. You are a very independent little girl and you can keep yourself entertained for hours when you are in a good mood. I try to play with you but when I get down on the floor with you, you just ignore me and crawl away. You crawl all over the place and pull up on everything and play with all of your toys, and your favorite "toy" is paper. You love to look at magazines and rip the pages out and crinkle them in your hands. This month you learned how to go from crawling back to sitting, and you learned how to cruise along the couches and around the coffee table. I think you have made more laps around that table than Richard Petty made in his entire career. 

My favorite part of this month was that you didn't use a pacifier at all! You will NOT under any circumstances take a pacifier. If I put one in your mouth you spit it right out and you won't open your mouth for me to put it back in. At times it would be really helpful if you would still take it, but I am so glad that you weaned yourself off of it so early. I did not want you to be 3 years old and still taking a paci!



This month you are still eating three solid meals a day, but you still prefer to have your milk. I have a feeling that you are going to nurse for a long time, but that's ok with me. I love those times and I wish that it took you longer than 10 minutes to eat. Sometimes I miss the early days when you would nurse for 45 minutes each time. Breastfeeding you is the only time I get to hold you and cuddle with you and I know that it will all be over too soon.


You love being a big girl and I love to watch you grow. I am so proud of you and all of the accomplishments that you have made so far. It's just getting better and better each day. I love you higher than the mountain tops, baby girl!