I feel like a zombie this morning. Literally, like I am dead on my feet. I don't know why, but for the last week or so you just refuse to sleep. Every night after I put you to bed I stay up for a few hours so I can have some time for myself, and you are already awake before I go to bed. I know you're not waking up because you are hungry because most nights it's only been an hour or two since you've eaten. So what is it? What is keeping you up all night?
Last night was the worst of all. I put you to bed at 11:00, your normal time, and you were up at 12:00. Thirty minutes later you were asleep again, but you woke up again at 1:30, just as I had finally drifted off. I am having so much trouble falling asleep because I know that as soon as I do, your cries will come through the monitor and wake me.
I got so frustrated with you last night that I let you cry it out in your room for 30 minutes, which is very unusual for me, but I was beyond tired. Needless to say, it didn't work and you stayed awake for almost an hour after Daddy and I went in to get you. You finally went to sleep around 4:00.
So how are you awake right now? How? Only after having 7 hours of sleep, and they weren't even continuous? Plus, you had only one short nap yesterday. I just don't get it. Why won't you go to sleep?
Last night as I laid there in the bed with you beside me, crawling all over me and pulling my hair, I seriously contemplated driving to Walmart to buy some Benadryl to knock you out with (please don't be calling DFCS over here, I didn't do it, I never really would anyway, but it was 3:30 in the am and I was desperate and if I didn't get some sleep I was going to kill myself and then who would take care of her?).
I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take, and Daddy is pretty frustrated too, being he had to get up and go to work this morning. I need some answers. And some sleep. Is this just a phase? Do all babies go through this at some point? Because you are capable of sleeping through the night and you used to do that and I just want to know why you won't sleep.
I'm emailing Dr. Z about this. And I'm sending you to stay with somebody else today so at least one of us can get some sleep. You non-sleeper you.