Sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I've been substitute teaching for a girl on maternity leave and I just haven't had time. When I am here, there is no time for me to do anything because these children, let me tell you, are ridiculous. When I get home in the afternoons the only thing that matters to me is Emily. I don't care that my blog isn't updated. I don't care that the laundry is piled 4 feet high. I don't care that my sink is full of dishes. I just want to spend every minute with her.
Except for the minutes when she is napping. And then I'm napping too.
Working? And being a mother? It's hard. And it's not for me. I thought I had figured that out last year when I did this same thing, but I must have forgotten. I can't do this. I just can't be away from my baby.
I'll admit it; I'm lucky. Blessed. Whichever way you want to look at it, in the end I am very fortunate. I don't have to work. We can make it on one salary. I might not be able to buy everything that I want when I'm not working, but I certainly have everything that I need.
And what I need right now is to be home with Emily. I miss her so much and it just breaks my heart to leave her every morning. I've been working for 5 1/2 weeks. I only have 7 days to go and most days I honestly don't know if I'm going to make it until the end. Yesterday when I left here I was ready to never come back, but I can't go burning any bridges so here I am again today. I just cannot wait to be a stay at home mommy again. Emily needs me. I need Emily.