Confessions

I don't even know why I am telling you all this, since it is kind of a personal, secretive kind of thing, but the truth is, we are already thinking about baby #2. That doesn't in any way at all mean that we are trying for baby #2 because we most definitely are NOT, but I'm a planner, and I am planning ahead. Way ahead.

I'm also a daydreamer. When I lie awake at night, or in the mornings after Emily has drifted back off to sleep, I like to think about the future. I know that I can't control and plan every little detail of my life, but in my dreams I can do whatever I want. And what I want is more babies. Someday. 

I've always dreamed of having four children. I definitely don't want three, because then we would have a middle child and middle child syndrome is a seriously nasty problem that I do not want to deal with any more than I already have to. My brother is a middle child and whoa! It is out. of. control. Denny agrees with me on the middle child thing, since he is a middle child too and he's got a bad case of it, but his solution to the problem is to only have two children. And that? Just does not work for me. 


I am so excited about having another baby, but I'm nervous about it too. If the next baby is another girl, then it should be no problem convincing Denny to go ahead and have another (and another). We both want a boy so badly and I am willing to keep trying until we have a son. But if the next one is a boy, it is going to be nearly impossible to get Denny to agree to a third child. 

Plus, there are always so many opinions from other people that we are given (without asking for them) and the majority opinion seems to be that once a couple has a girl and a boy, then they are done. The family is complete, end of story, your baby making years are over. And sometimes that is the opinion even if both children are the same sex. Two seems to be the limit for most people and they can't seem to understand why on earth  anybody would want more than two children, even if they have more than two themselves. In my mind, having one boy and one girl does not mean that my family is complete. It just means that we are getting warmed up! I read on another blog somewhere about a family who has four daughters, they have adopted one son, and they are planning to adopt at least one more. The mom says that everywhere she goes people comment on how she has her hands full. And the part that I absolutely love about all of this is that she comments right back that her hands are not as full as her heart. Isn't that beautiful?


Maybe people should just mind their own business. Maybe I should just quit blogging about anything other than Emily and what she does because I get way off track and I get heated up about silly things like other people's opinions and I just wish that I could pack up all of our things and move to Texas. Yes, Texas. That is where we'd go if we ever move away. 


And now I've got to go and change Emily's diaper because she decided that right now is the best time to come and stand right beside me and sling out a poop and Oh my God we are such back woods hillbillies we need to get with the times and get ourselves some disposable diapers because cloth diapers are so disgusting and hard to use blah blah blah.